The Ultimate Guide To A Successful First Date
A first date can be a nerve-wracking experience. What should you wear? What should you talk about? Where should you go? How do you know if they like you?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! This is the ultimate guide to first dates. We’ll tell you everything you need to know to make your outing a success!
So sit back, relax, and get ready to learn all there is to know about first dates!
Why Is The First Date So Awkward?
The first date is often awkward because it’s the first time you’re meeting someone new. You don’t know them very well, so you’re not sure what to say or do.
This first date could be a make or break moment because it will decide if a second date happens. There are a million different things running through your mind and you can easily get caught up in overthinking the situation and letting your nerves get the best of you.
How To Be Less Nervous On A First Date
First dates can be nerve-wracking but there are a few things you can do to try and calm your nerves.
Breathe: Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.
Think positive: Try to think positive thoughts and remind yourself that it’s just a date and the other person is probably just as nervous as you.
Prepare: Prepare for the date by picking out your outfit and thinking of conversation starters.
Plan: Plan the date so that you have something to do and you’re not just sitting in awkward silence.
Be yourself: Be yourself and don’t try to be someone you’re not. The other person will like you for who you are.
How To Act On A First Date
Before you head out on a first date, it’s time to learn how to act on one! Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you’re on your date:
Be yourself: This is the most important thing to remember. Your date wants to get to know the real you, so don’t be afraid to show your true colors.
Be a good listener: This goes hand-in-hand with being yourself. If you’re not genuinely interested in what your date has to say, they’ll be able to tell. So make sure to give them your undivided attention and really listen to what they’re saying.
Be respectful: This one should be a no-brainer, but it’s still worth mentioning. There’s no need to be rude or insensitive on a first date. Just be respectful and considerate of your date’s feelings and you’ll be sure to make a good impression.
Have fun: A first date should be enjoyable for both of you. So relax, let loose, and have fun!
What To Wear On A First Date?
What you wear on a first date can be just as important as what you say. You want to make sure you’re dressing for the occasion and sending the right message.
For example, if you’re going to a nice restaurant, you’ll want to dress nicer than if you were going to a movie theater. It’s also important to be comfortable. You don’t want to be uncomfortable the whole night because you’re wearing something that’s too tight or too loose. Ultimately, you want to know what it is your doing, and dress accordingly.
Some general tips for what to wear on a first date include:
- The #1 rule, wear something you feel confident in
- Dress nicely, but not too formally
- Choose comfortable clothing that you feel good in
- Avoid flashy colors or excessive makeup
- Keep jewelry to a minimum
Examples Of Men’s Outfits For A First Date
- A nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt
- A blazer with a button-down shirt and jeans
- Chinos and a dress shirt
- A sweater over a collared shirt
Examples Of Women’s Outfits For A First Date
- A skirt with a blouse or T-shirt
- A dress
- A cardigan over a dress or blouse
- Jeans and a nice top
- A bodysuit with matching pants
Pro Tip-Make sure you smell good. Smell is so important and can make people feel attracted to you without them even realizing why.
What To Talk About On A First Date?
The key to avoiding an awkward first date is to have plenty of things to talk about. What to talk about depends on the person you’re with and the situation.
If you don’t know the person very well, stick to safe topics like work, school, hobbies, or favorite TV shows. If you know the person better, you can talk about things like your families, relationships, dreams, and goals.
The most important thing is to keep the conversation flowing. You don’t want there to be awkward silences. If you run out of things to say, ask the other person questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves, so this is a great way to keep the conversation going.
20 Great Conversation Starters For A First Date
- How was your day?
- Are you a morning or a night person?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
- What’s been the best part of your week so far?
- What are you looking forward to this weekend?
- What are your favorite books, movies, tv shows?
- What’s something I would never guess about you?
- If you could do any job in the world, what would it be?
- What is your biggest pet peeve?
- Favorite and least favorite food?
- What are your hobbies?
- Are you an animal person and if so what is your favorite animal?
- What would your perfect day look like?
- If you could learn any skill or ability, what would it be?
- Beach or Mountains?
- What’s your favorite holiday
- How long could you go without having access to your phone?
- What is the best gift you have ever received?
- Tell me about your family.
- What’s a typical Saturday for you.
Topics To Avoid On A First Date
There are several things that, although very important for a long-term relationship, are better left not talking about on the first date when you are trying to get to know someone. A few of these topics are:
Politics can very polarizing. It is best to avoid talking about politics on a first date so as not to upset or offend the other person.
Religion is something that can be very personal to someone so wait and get to know that person better before bringing it up.
Money is always a touchy subject. It’s best not to talk about money on a first date so as not to make the other person feel uncomfortable.
Talking about past relationships can make the other person feel like you’re not over your ex and that you’re looking for a rebound. Your ex is your ex for a reason. It’s best to avoid this topic altogether.
Health issues are best left not talked about on a first date. This includes mental and physical health issues.
Best First Date Ideas
Going To A Bar Or Lounge For Drinks
Happy Hour or drinks on a first date can be great because it doesn’t require the time commitment of a set dinner but if it is going well you can easily stay longer or even go to dinner on a whim after. Enjoying some craft cocktails is a great environment to just sit and get to know someone better.
Going To A Restuarant For Dinner
Dinner is always a great option but for the best first date restaurant, you need to make sure and pick the appropriate type. You don’t want somewhere that seems overly formal or romantic because it can be uncomfortable and seem like you are just trying to impress them with your money.
However, you also don’t want to do something too cheap such as fast food because it will seem like you didn’t put any effort into the date. Pick a happy medium such as a sports bar or tapas or something that is somewhat casual to make you both feel at ease.
Going For Coffee
A coffee shop is always a great option depending on the speed someone wants to take things. If they are somewhat hesitant about dating and don’t want to jump straight to an intimate date then coffee is the perfect way to get to sit and learn about something without it seeming too serious.
Taking A Walk In The Park
A walk in the park is great because it gets you both moving and out of the house. It also provides a great opportunity to learn about someone without feeling like you are just sitting there staring at each other.
Going To A Museum
Museums can be great first dates because they offer something to do while also providing an opportunity to learn about each other. It can be a great way to spend an afternoon and get to know someone in a relaxed setting.
Have A Picnic
Picnics are great first dates because they offer a chance to be outdoors and enjoy the weather while also getting to know each other. It’s a great way to spend an afternoon or evening on a first date.
Bowling is a great option for a first date because it’s a fun activity that can help ease any tension. It’s also a great way to see if there’s any potential compatibility.
Trivia Night Or A Game Based Restaurant
Many bars have trivia nights that can be a ton of fun. You can surprise each other with your random knowledge as well as get to know each other better in a fun setting.
Also starting to pop up everywhere are bars/restaurants focused on board games. This can also be a ton of fun. They have hundreds of card and board games stocked for you to sit and play while enjoying your evening.
Attend A Sporting Event
This one is great if you know they are into a certain sport. Attending a game can be a ton of fun and provide plenty of opportunities to chat and get to know each other. It’s also a great way to show your interest in something they are passionate about.
Take A Cooking Class
This is a great option for a first date because it provides an opportunity to learn something new together. It’s also a great way to see if you work well together and can have fun even when things don’t go perfectly. Plus, you get to eat the results of your efforts which is always a bonus!
Now I don’t mean a concert or something overpowering. But find somewhere a little more intimate that still allows conversation like a bar or restaurant patio that has live music. You can enjoy the vibes of the music while still being able to talk.
First Date Ideas To Avoid
The whole point of a first date is to get to know someone. It’s a chance to find out if the two of you are compatible. Avoid places that will make it more difficult to talk or learn about each other.
These are places like movies, loud concerts, or anywhere where you will be distracted from each other. Once the two of you get to know each other better, then those are great date ideas, but for the first date stick to something that allows the two of you to have great communication.
15 Tips For A Successful First Date
1. Don’t drink too much.
This is very important. When you are nervous it can be easy to drink more than you intended. This can lead to saying things you didn’t mean or making a fool of yourself.
It’s important to remember that you are trying to make a good impression and that can be hard to do when you are drunk.
2. Don’t talk about your ex.
We discussed this earlier but this is a major no-no on a first date. You are trying to get to know someone new and talking about your ex is a sure way to turn them off.
3. Watch your language.
This is another one that can be easy to forget in the moment. When you are nervous you might start using language that you wouldn’t normally use.
This can be anything from swearing to using offensive language. It’s important to remember that you are trying to make a good impression and that can be hard to do if you are using language that is offensive.
4. Be Positive
First dates can be nerve-wracking and it’s easy to let that negativity show. Try to focus on the positive and remember that this is an opportunity to meet someone new and potentially have a great time.
Positivity is attractive so try to keep that in mind.
5. Listen, Listen, Listen
This is perhaps the most important tip on this list. The whole point of a first date is to get to know someone new. That can only happen if you are actually listening to what they are saying.
So, try to focus on the conversation and really listen to what they are saying. You might be surprised at how much you have in common.
6. Be yourself
It’s easy to try to be someone you think they will like but that is only going to lead to frustration later on. Be yourself and let them get to know the real you. If they don’t like you for who you are then they are not going to work out long term.
7. Follow Up After The Date
If you had a good time then be sure to follow up with them after the date. A quick text or call to let them know you had a great time is always a nice gesture. It’s also a good way to keep the conversation going and potentially set up a second date.
8. Dress Well
First impressions are important and you want to make sure you are dressing for the occasion. This doesn’t mean you need to break out your best dress or suit but you should take the time to make sure you are well dressed and that you put some thought into what you are wearing.
9. Be Aware Of Body Language
Your body language can say a lot about how you are feeling. If you are nervous it might show in your body language.
Try to be aware of how you are standing or sitting and try to relax. It might help to imagine that you are talking to a friend.
10. Be Willing To Go With The Flow
If your date has to change plans or if something comes up, be willing to go with the flow. The ability to roll with the punches is always a good quality to have.
11. Ask Open-Ended Questions
When you are getting to know someone new it’s important to ask open-ended questions. These are questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. They require more thought and often lead to better conversations.
12. Don’t Be Afraid To Talk About Yourself
It’s important to remember that you are on a date and that means that the other person wants to get to know you. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself and share your thoughts and feelings. Just be sure to strike a balance between talking about yourself and listening to the other person.
13. Be Funny
If you can make your date laugh then you are off to a good start. Humor is always a great icebreaker and it can help to keep the conversation light and fun. Just be sure not to overdo it or you might come across as your trying to hard.
14. Keep It Casual
First dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive. In fact, it’s often better to keep things casual. This way you can both relax and be yourselves. A casual first date can often lead to a more successful second date.
15. End On A Good Note
Ending the date on a good note is always a good idea. If you had a great time then be sure to let them know. A simple “I had a great time, thank you” is always a nice way to end things. You can also mention that you would like to see them again.
How To Know If They Like You?
The best way to know if someone likes you is to pay attention to how they act around you. There are a few things to look for that can give you an indication of whether or not the other person is interested in you:
Do they maintain eye contact with you?
If they are looking at you a lot and maintaining eye contact then it’s likely they are interested in you.
Do they laugh at your jokes, even if they’re not particularly funny?
If they are laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t particularly funny, it’s a good sign they like you.
Do they ask you questions about yourself?
If they are asking you questions about yourself it’s because they genuinely want to know more about you and are interested in you.
Do they touch you, even if it’s just a light touch on the arm?
Physical contact is a good sign that someone likes you. People don’t initiate any type of physical contact with someone else if they don’t like them in one way or another.
Do they mirror your body language?
If they are mirroring your body language it’s a sign they are trying to connect with you and understand you.
Do they make an effort to keep the conversation going?
If they are continuing the conversation with you it is because they enjoy spending time with you. They don’t want the date to end and are having a good time.
Do they bring up wanting to see you again?
Well, this one is pretty obvious but if they mention wanting to see you again then it looks like there is a really good chance of a second date.
If the answer to most of these questions is yes, then it’s likely that the other person is interested in you. The best way to find out for sure, though, is to ask them out on a second date.
First Date Signs He Or She Is Not Interested
As much as we all want our first dates to work out, sometimes the two of you just aren’t a match, and here are some of the signs that the other person may not be interested:
They Seem Distracted
If the other person seems distracted or disinterested in what you’re saying, it’s a sign that they’re not into you.
They Don’t Ask You Questions
If the other person doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in getting to know you.
They Check Their Phone A Lot
If the other person is constantly checking their phone, they would probably rather be somewhere else and that they’re not interested in you or the date.
They Don’t Make Much Effort
If the other person doesn’t make much of an effort to keep the conversation going or to plan the date, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in you.
They Seem Uncomfortable Or Are Constantly Fidgeting
If the other person seems uncomfortable or is constantly fidgeting, it’s a sign that they may want to leave.
The Date Ends Quickly
If the date ends quickly or abruptly, they are probably not interested and want to leave.
No Contact After The First Date
If the other person doesn’t try to contact you after the first date, it’s doubtful they are interested in a second date.
Can A Bad First Date Be Fixed?
Yes, a bad date can definitely be fixed, but you are going to have to be completely open about the date in hopes of them giving you another shot. There are ways to fix it and here are some tips:
Talk To Them About It
The best way to fix a bad first date is to talk to the other person about it. Let them know what went wrong and why you think it didn’t work out.
This can help to clear the air and to make sure that the same thing doesn’t happen on a second date.
Plan A Better Second Date
If you’re interested in seeing the other person again, try to plan a better second date. This can be something that you both will enjoy doing and it can help to make up for the bad first date.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Honest
If you’re not interested in seeing the other person again, don’t be afraid to be honest with them. It’s better to end things now than to lead the other person on.
Who knows, a bad first date could be something you both laugh about together years later if you are able to get past it.
The most important thing to remember is that not every first date is going to be a success. But, that doesn’t mean that you should give up on dating altogether. Just keep trying and eventually, you’ll find someone who you connect with.
How Long To Wait To Contact Someone After The First Date
Even if the first date went well, it can be nerve-wracking to ask for a second date (FYI This advice is generally for the man).
There are a ton of different opinions on how long to wait to text or call after the first date. Is it that night? Is it the next day? Is it two days later?
The reality is that there is no set rule. It will be different for everybody because everyone’s personality is different. And based on how the date when those “rules” can change from date to date.
Here are a two methods you can use to make it easier to ask for a second date:
How To Ask For A Second Date
The Wait Approach:
- First, wait a day or two before you contact the other person. This will give them time to miss you and to think about the first date.
- Second, when you do contact them, be casual about it. You can say something like, “I had a great time on our first date and I was wondering if you’d like to go out again.”
- Third, don’t put too much pressure on them. If they say no, it’s not the end of the world. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
The No Games Approach:
- If you feel like the date went great and you don’t want to play the game of waiting to text just because that is common advice, just go ahead and ask them out again at the end of the night.
Some people say that this doesn’t seem mysterious enough or that you need to play “hard to get.” I disagree, If you want to see the other person again then let them know at the end of that first date.
It will make them feel good to know how much you enjoyed being with them and that you want to see them again. It will take their stress away from worrying for the next few days if they are going to get a text about a second date or not.
It is as easy as just telling them “I had a fantastic night tonight with you and would love to see you again if you are interested.”
Should You Kiss On The First Date?
The age old question of kissing on a first date. If you are having a great time it is very easy for the entire second half of the date to just be a constant thread in your mind of “should I kiss them or not.”
There is no definitive rule on this and it is ultimately completely dependent on the two people on the date and thier own thoughts on the matter.
According to research, 67% of people have kissed on the first date, so based on stats it is more common than not. Here are a few things to help make your decision easier
Read The Signs
Use everything we have talked about so far to read how the date is going. How is the chemistry between the two of you and do they seem into you. Usually, if someone is wanting to be kissed on the first date, they will show some signs that they are interested.
Also, based on the conversations that the two of you have had throughout the night make a judgment on their value systems or the speed at which they move to anticipate if they may or may not be okay with kissing on the first date.
Trust Your Gut
Ultimately, you are going to just have to trust your gut on whether you should go for the kiss or not. If you had an amazing time together and you want to go for the kiss then have the confidence to just go for it.
You wouln’t try for the kiss if the date was going bad so whats the worst that could happen. They could say they dont kiss on the first date or shut you down but it’s most likely not because of you, but because that is just the rule that they have set for themselves.
Yes, they will be some embarrassment but at least they will know that you are into them. If I had a rule that I did not kiss on the first date and someone tried to kiss me I wouldn’t be mad or offended. I would feel special that the other person wanted to kiss me.
It may not be because I didn’t want to kiss, I just have a rule that I don’t. However, everyone breaks that rule from time to time for the right person. So don’t take it personal, everyone has different beliefs and value systems.
Most importantly, always respect whatever the other persons thoughts on the matter are. Don’t judge them or shame them if their thoughts on the matter are different than yours.
Also, don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the situation the the kiss. A kiss can be a great way to end the night but if a kiss happens or not probably wont have much of an effect on the possibility of a second date.
How To End The Date
If you want to end the date on a good note, here are a few things you can do:
- Thank them for their time.
- Tell them you had a great time.
- Say that you’re looking forward to seeing them again.
- Give them a hug or a kiss (if you’re feeling it).
Make sure you have their contact information so you can easily get in touch with them for a second date.
We all want our first dates to be perfect but sometimes they don’t go as planned. If you find yourself on a bad first date, don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. Just remember that it’s not the end of the world and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.