The First Year of Marriage is Hard: Here’s What You Can Do to Make It Easier
The first year of marriage is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
It’s a time when you’re adjusting to a new lifestyle, learning how to live with someone else, and figuring out how to make things work. Unfortunately, many couples don’t make it through the first year. But don’t worry – we’re here to help!
We will discuss some tips that will help make the first year of marriage easier for you and your spouse and create a wonderful beginning to your marriage.
Why Is The First Year Of Marriage So Hard?
The first year of marriage is full of adjustments. You’re no longer living alone, you’re now sharing your space with someone else, and you’re learning how to compromise.
It’s a time when you’re getting used to being married and all that comes with it. You might be working on building a life together, starting a family, or buying a house.
All of these things can be stressful and lead to arguments. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this – everyone goes through it!
What Are Some Of The Reasons It’s So Hard?
You Are Learning To Live With Someone New
It’s hard, because you’re suddenly living with someone new. You might not know how to live with them, what their habits are, or how they like things done. It can be tough to adjust, but it’s important to remember that everyone is different and you’ll learn as you go.
You Are Combining Two Different Styles
If you’re coming from two different backgrounds, it can be hard to merge your lifestyles. You might have different views on money, religion, or family.
It’s important to have open and honest conversations about these things so that you can find a compromise that works for both of you.
You May Be Starting A Family
Starting a family is a huge responsibility. You’re now responsible for another human being! It can be tough to adjust to this new role, but it’s important to remember that this is a common stressor for every marriage.
You Are Learning To Compromise And Communicate
Compromise is a big part of marriage. You’ll have to learn to communicate with your spouse and figure out what works for both of you. It can be tough, but it’s so important.
You May Be Dealing With In-Laws or Extended Family Members
If you’re dealing with in-laws or extended family members, it can be very difficult. You want to hold steady to your ideas on things but you also don’t want to cause issues with the extended family.
You might not see eye to eye on everything, but it’s important to remember that you and your spouse are a team. You’ll get through it together.
You Are Getting Used To Each Others Habits
We all have habits that can drive our spouses crazy. It can be tough to get used to, but it’s important to remember that we all have them. It’s part of what makes us human!
You Are Both Trying To Figure Out How To Be A Good Spouse
We all want to be good spouses, but it’s not always easy. It takes time and effort to learn what works for both of you.
Also, everyone’s relationship is different so what may work for some couples could look completely different in your relationship. Communicate with each other to find out what it means to be a good spouse in your marriage.
You Are Learning How To Handle Finances As A Couple
Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage. You’re now responsible for another person’s finances, and it can be tough to figure out how to handle it all.
It’s important to have open and honest conversations about money so that you can figure out what works for both of you. Figure out a plan that you both agree on and try to stick to it.
What Can You Do To Make The First Year Of Marriage Easier?
As tough as the first year of marriage can be, as long as you are aware that it is normal and set a plan to make it easier on the both of you, then you can set yourself up for a long happy marriage.
These are some things you can do to make the first year of marriage easier:
Communicate With Each Other
This is the most important thing you can do. Talk about your expectations, your needs, and your wants.
Discuss what you’re struggling with and be honest about how you’re feeling. Marriage is hard work and it’s important to communicate with each other to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Make Time For Each Other
The first year of marriage is hard, but it’s also a time full of love, laughter, and memories. Have date nights, walks in the park, whatever it is that makes you feel connected.
Learn To Compromise
You’re going to have to compromise on some things and that’s okay. It’s important to remember that you’re not always going to agree on everything. But if you can learn to compromise, it’ll make your life a lot easier.
Life is no longer just about you and how you think things should be. You both must be willing to bend on certain things and create new ways to operate moving forward.
Seek Help When Needed
If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist, counselor, or pastor. Many couples go through rough patches and seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.
Let Your Partner Know You Appreciate Them
There are many tasks that need to be done in a home every day. Make sure and tell your partner thank you for doing those things.
Whether it is washing the dishes, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, or taking out the trash, let your partner know you appreciate them and the work that they do.
Don’t Let The Romance Die
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean the romance has to die. Keep the spark alive by doing things that you did when you were dating. Send a love note, buy flowers, or cook their favorite meal.
Don’t Expect Too Much
Marriage is hard work and it’s not always going to be perfect. Don’t expect too much from yourself or your spouse.
Don’t compare yourself to others and feel like no one else is having the same struggles as you. Everyone has struggles in their marriage, especially in the first year. Don’t judge your marriage just because you are having some rough patches.
8 Biggest Priorities In The First Year Of Marriage
There are certain aspects of a marriage that are of huge importance because of the chaos they can cause if not handled properly.
These are the 8 biggest priorities to establish early on in your marriage in order to have a long successful relationship:
1. Communication Is Key
You and your spouse need to learn how to communicate with each other. This means being honest about your feelings, needs, and wants.
It also means listening to your partner and trying to see things from their perspective. Everything else in your marriage will be tied to how well the two of you communicate.
2. Establish Trust
Trust is so important in a marriage. You need to be able to trust your partner with your heart, your body, and your finances. This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s something that you need to work on.
3. Decide How You Want To Handle Finances
Money is one of the biggest stressors in a marriage. You need to decide how you’re going to handle your finances as a couple.
This includes things like who is going to pay the bills, how you’re going to save money, and how you’re going to handle debt.
4. Set Boundaries With In-Laws
It’s important to establish boundaries with your in-laws. You need to make it clear that you’re a married couple now and you need time alone together.
This doesn’t mean you have to cut off your in-laws completely, but you do need to set some boundaries.
5. Create Goals Together
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to set some goals together. This gives you something to work towards as a couple and it gives you a sense of purpose.
You can set goals for your relationship, your finances, your careers, and your family.
6. Decide How To Handle Conflict
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s especially important to learn how to handle conflict in a marriage. You need to be able to discuss your differences without getting angry or hurt. It’s also important to learn how to apologize and forgive.
Setting a plan for how you are going to do this early on in your marriage helps to establish some “rules” and will allow you to both be on the same page when conflict arises.
7. Breakdown Of Chores
It’s important to have a division of labor in your marriage. This doesn’t mean that one person does all the work and the other person does nothing. But it does mean that you need to sit down and decide who is going to do what around the house.
Again, just like with other things, what works best for others may not be best for your relationship. Together as a couple, create a plan that works the best for both of you.
8. Teamwork
Remember that you’re a team now. You’re in this marriage together and you need to work together to make it successful.
This means being supportive of each other, being honest with each other, and being there for each other.
Major Red Flags In The First Year Of Marriage
As much as you want your first year of marriage to be great, there are some definite red flags that if you can identify early enough you can make those changes in your relationship. We know the first year of marriage is difficult, but pay attention to these certain things and if you see them in your marriage you need to take care of them quickly so that they don’t create bigger issues down the road.
Lack Of Respect
One of the biggest red flags in a marriage is a lack of respect. This can be shown in how you speak to each other, how you treat each other, and how you handle conflict.
If you’re not respecting your partner, it’s going to be hard to have a successful marriage.
Emotional Abuse
Another major red flag is emotional abuse. This can be anything from verbal abuse to controlling behavior. If you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to get help as soon as possible.
Lack Of Intimacy
A lack of intimacy can be a big problem in a marriage. This doesn’t just mean physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy as well. If you’re not connecting with your partner on a deeper level, it’s going to be hard to sustain a long-term relationship.
Keep in mind that men and women view and interpret intimacy differently. This is another reason that communication is so important. Share with your partner your needs so they fully understand what they need to do to meet those needs.
Unrealistic Expectations
If you’re putting unrealistic expectations on your marriage, it’s going to be hard to meet those expectations. We’ve all had dreams of being married and how amazing it will be. The only problem is that in those dreams we only see the great parts of marriage and tend to pass over the tough parts.
Marriage is not always easy and there will be ups and downs. If you’re expecting your marriage to be perfect, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Overly Dependent On Parents
If you’re overly dependent on your parents, it can be a problem. You need to be able to rely on your partner and not just your parents.
This can be a tough balance to strike, but it’s important to have independence in your marriage. If not handled properly, this can lead to resentment later on in your relationship.
Refusing To Compromise
If you’re not willing to compromise, it’s going to be hard to make your marriage work. You need to be able to give and take.
If you’re always trying to get your way, it’s going to be difficult to find a middle ground.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is absolutely unacceptable in any relationship. If you are being physically abused you need to seek help and get out of the situation as soon as possible.
Over Spending
If you’re spending too much money, it can put a strain on your marriage. You need to be able to live within your means and not put your financial stability at risk.
Final Thoughts
The first year of marriage is very difficult but don’t forget that everyone else is going through the exact same things and having the exact same struggles. The important thing is to establish good healthy habits early on in their marriage and also to identify those bad habits and remove them from your relationship.
Although hard, your first year of marriage can also be the most important year of your marriage because you are setting those guidelines that will carry you through your entire relationship. Plant those healthy seeds early so that your marriage can bloom into a lifelong happy relationship.
