6 Worrying Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore

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signs your husband doesnt love you

If you ask any woman who has been married for a long time, marriage is actually not as easy as it seems to be in the beginning. After the honeymoon phase is over, the real test begins. It is for sure that one’s emotions are very much affected by the stress cycles of daily life. In addition, it is common for married couples to feel stuck into a boring routine that sometimes can negatively impact one's feelings for their spouse. At some point during their marriage, many women suspect that their husbands do not love them anymore. There are several warning signs which very well indicate that the feelings of your husband may be changing. Let's take a look at the six most important ones.

The 6 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore

1. Absence

One very prominent sign that your husband doesn't love you anymore is his absence. Millions of men across the world who fall out of love with their wives usually start coming home late or spending more time away. They may find excuses such as increased work pressure, which cause them to work for longer hours. Also some men would say that they are going more often to the gym or other sports club to maintain their health. Most men find it hard to face the situation of their changing feelings and instead of dealing with the problem, they try to hide away from the situation. 

2. Lack of interest

Another clear sign that your husband doesn't love you anymore is that he will become less interested in the day to day happenings of your life. He would not bother to ask you how your day was after returning back home. Also he wouldn’t want to know about your interests or hobbies anymore. Previously, when your husband used to love you truly, he would have taken a keen interest in the things that you do in your daily life. Generally, when you feel that your husband is not engaged in your life any more, it's not good sign.

Related: 6 Proven Ways To Keep A Man Interested

3. Lack of intimacy

Another obvious change that you would notice is that happening to your intimacy. There would be a shift in the way he interacts with you physically and he would gradually become more distant. This could very well mean that your husband is no further attracted to you and that probably doesn't love you anymore. However, this is not always the case, and it would be foolish to come to such conclusion too soon.

Sometimes, stress or other factors can play a big role in suppressing sex drive, and many men struggle to be sexually intimate when their mind is somewhere else.

You will have to take some time to watch whether your husband is distant from you all the time or only in the bedroom. If he is distant from you all the time, then this is a clear indicator that he is no longer feeling emotionally close to you.

If you are struggling with lack of intimacy and you're worried that you'll end up in a sexless marriage,  take the sexless marriage quiz to remove all doubt.

4. He stops saying that he loves you

A married man who shifts from saying '"I love you"' to always just “me too”, is probably losing interest in his wife. Till the time a man is in love with a woman, he would never mind saying "I love you" as often as he feels like saying it. Once you see that your husband is telling “me too” very often, then stop telling him “I love you” for a few days. If your husband also stops expressing his love, then you must understand that there is an issue.

5. He calls you less frequently

Is it the case that you are calling him or texting him very often but he doesn't call you or text you that often anymore? In the beginning of your relationship, he would call you very often even just to hear your voice. If he now calls you rarely if ever, then he is obviously not feeling as connected with you as he used to feel earlier. If he doesn't return calls or texts, or takes longer than he normally used to, it's a sign that you are no longer a top priority for him. In some cases, this could also be a sign of cheating, especially if he goes for longer periods of time with his phone turned off. Watch out for other obvious and not-so-obvious infidelity red flags: if he uses his phone in the bathroom or hides it from you when you're around, he's clearly up to something!

6. He no longer compliments you

This is a very subtle shift in a man’s behavior when he stops loving you. He will stop complimenting you and would criticize you much often instead, or just act more indifferent. Once upon a time when your relationship was going great, he used to compliment you often, even on small things. You could feel that he appreciated you and that he was physically attracted to you. But when your husband starts losing interest in you, you will hear him complaining more often, and may even start losing respect for you. If he starts hurting you intentionally, then this is a very strong indicator that he has lost interest in you.

My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore: What Should I Do?

If you notice that your husband is falling out of love with you, then you should act quickly to save your marriage. If you ignore the above warning signs for long, a painful breakup is just knocking on your door. As a general advice, if you suspect that your husband doesn't love you anymore, try following your instinct.

You may think back how your husband used to interact in the beginning of the relationship and what difference has come up in his behavior. If you consistently notice a drastic change for a long time, then this is a warning flag that your husband is no longer in love with you.

Human beings have mood swings and he may sometimes act differently due to a temporary change in mood. Do not be hasty in judging your husband's feelings for you based on minor changes in his behavior for a short period of time. Take plenty of time to notice your husband’s way to relate to you when you suspect that he doesn't love you.

Being in love is a magical thing, and you can always feel the love in a relationship when it's truly there. And when love starts disappearing you can feel it also. Trust your guts, but be very understanding and considerate while judging your husband even if you are suspecting that he no longer loves you.

You have to understand that your husband most probably carries the burden of having to take care of the whole family, and there are phases of life when this can be particularly stressful. Hence he may at some point of time behave differently, but this doesn't necessarily mean that his feelings for you have disappeared.

Finally, remember that sometimes, men don't know how to tell their wives what they really want and what can make them truly happy. If you are interested, there are very affordable, professional resources available to help you understanding his psychology better and make you more attractive to his eyes.

Want more? 

I have researched extensively all the e-books and courses online, and I personally recommend the one below, as it's the most effective and comprehensive and has the best testimonials reviews from wives that have successfully restored the passion and intimacy in their marriage using the method.

What about men?

If you're a man, and you are worried that your wife might leave you, check out the 6 tell-tale signs your wife doesn't love you anymore, to find out if your instinct were right.

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Aarti - January 18, 2018

We are married 13 yrs now have 2 kids 8 and 12 yrs old . He had 2 affairs . Second one I discovered in 2016 and I hate him for that . Now all the above signs are of he being not interested in me r true .
Not sure should I separate or keep going ?
I am not financially independent

    Ivan Verr - January 18, 2018

    Hi Aarti. Clearly, 2 instances of infidelity suggest total lack of effort on his side to fix unresolved issues, whichever they might be. First of all, you will need to commit emotionally to a decision as to whether you are going to be able to forgive him or not, because nothing will be ever solved if you “hate him” for what he has done. Once you reach a final decision, if you haven’t already, I would advice you communicate openly and directly to him the fact that you’re seriously considering separation unless those issues, whichever they are, are resolved. It’s important to tell him this, even if you decide to forgive. It makes no sense to keep going if he doesn’t get the message that he can’t get away with cheating. Finally, if his reaction to this is positive (he wants to save the marriage), you both should look closely and analytically at why this is happening, and I can further advice on how to tackle intimacy and emotional issues bypassing coping behaviors.

Farzana - January 28, 2018

Hi I m36 yrs old .I have 15 yrs and 12yrs old sons in my 19 yrs of marriage. Right after our marriage 19 yrs ago , he bought a beautiful gifts and flowers to give his “girlfriend ” on her birthday and at that time I was with him. Which did make no sense to me at that time as well as now. After coming home back I fought him for the first time. After that I found him little cautious about her. Our relationship seems smooth I thought. But very interestingly when he sees his exgirlfriend anywhere he tries to forget I am with him. He seems very scared and nervous..He said they did not have any physical relationship. But why he act stupid in front of her . Recently my mom in law died and she came to see my husband,and this time after so many years he did the same act which I didn’t like at all . I am super annoyed with him . But I didn’t say anything to him as always. The problem is I am going to be crazy thinking with this issue I always said I trust him more than me but this time I am so upset and frustrated..he is connected with her on Facebook.now a days he seems very busy in his office as well as his smart phones . I need advice. Pl help me out of this. My kids are growing up. And I love him..

    Ivan Verr - January 28, 2018

    Hi Farzana, and thanks for stopping by. It’s not easy to give advice in this kind of situations as it seems that he met this “girlfriend” quite early on (19 years) in the marriage, if I understood correctly. Hence, if the issue hasn’t been addressed properly back in the day, the couples dynamics between you and him could have changed for the worse, dramatically, and sometimes, irreparably (by now). And if he’s been in touch with her (and maybe seen her) all along over the past 19 years, it sounds like he might be having a lifelong affair with this woman, even though he denies. You will have to look for the signs described in this article, and especially at whether the intimacy with him has changed (less sex? less enthusiasm?). Look out also for things like sudden mood changes, sudden change in tastes (e.g. new hobby, new favorite music genre), new friends,etc. You will then need to confront him on this, and this time make it real. Don’t let him get away with vague excuses as doubt will erode you. Explain him that you will need to be certain on what’s going on, or else you would consider leaving him. He needs to realize that all he was looking for in that woman that make him feel so nervous, he already has it at home with you. Most importantly he needs to feel that he would lose all that if doesn’t stop chatting or flirting with other women. Make sure he never sees you as just the “maid”, or he will always look for someone else. He needs to discover or, shall we say, re-discover, your value as a worthy female, or he will be always looking for that “element” somewhere else.There are many strategies to increase your value as a woman, such as becoming more confident, focusing on yourself more and your sex appeal, taking the initiative on things, becoming more emotionally independent, and even tap into his jealous side.

Carmen - February 3, 2018

Hello. My name is Carmen, and I’ve been with my husband for 4.5 years, married 3.5 years. I don’t even know where to start. Well to start off, we’re a military family. My husband has been part of the military for 8 years. I am his third wife (the one which he has been with the longest).
Recently we moved to our new duty station (Texas) where I’m thousands of miles away from my family. Well since we moved here, my husband has seemed distant. He doesn’t show me the love he once use to. Like you explained in your article, he has found excuses to be away from home. He does so by “volunteering” for more duties at work, working out at the gym with friends, etc. In addition to that, we aren’t as intimate as we once were. Before we had sex multiple time a week, now I’m lucky to “get it” once a week. And although the sex feels great, something seems off, he claims it’s because he’s tired, but still. I know he’s stressed as he has a very high stress job. And I don’t believe he is cheating as he comes home everyday and every night. But he seems distant. Another example is that my birthday is coming up this month. And he didn’t even remember. And he knows this is my first year away from my family and that my birthday is very important to me.
He’s not as attentive as he once was. And it hurts because I love him so much, but I’m not sure he’s as in love with me, as I am with him. Help!!!

    Ivan Verr - February 4, 2018

    Hi Carmen, thanks for commenting on my blog. First of all, do you and your husband have kids/ have had a baby lately? Secondly, I think you’re right to consider the fact that his stressful job might play a role. Has the job become more stressful over time? Thirdly who is initiating sex most of the time?

    One might think that he’s just lacking the energy to maintain the sex life you were used to, but the fact that he has indeed the energy to go more often to the gym means that his health/energy levels are ok. It actually sounds like he’s been improving his appearance / attractiveness. Question is: is he doing this for you? Going by the way you describe your intimate life, it seems that the answer is probably no. That doesn’t mean he is cheating, but it might mean that he is diverting his sexual energy elsewhere. Another interesting question is: what are YOU doing to make yourself more attractive to him, day in day out? It’s important that you focus the attention on you, and not on him, this is the most important factor in these kind of situations. A lot of women I talk to tend to be emotionally-dependent or just stop making their men “chase” over time. Make sure you offer him some challenge from time to time, even some “imaginary competition”. The fact that you’re far away from your family or dearest ones makes it more difficult, so why don’t you focus on making more friends in Texas. Try and surround yourself with more people and give him some space as well. Ultimately, you might even want to try to take away from him even that once-a-week sex and see what happens. If he starts wondering what’s going on and questions you, you might be able to recover his interest. If he doesn’t seem to mind, things might be more worrying that you think. Ivan

      Carmen - February 5, 2018

      Yes we have two children. One is from my previous relationship and my youngest is from our relationship. But my you fear is already two and a half so it hasn’t been recent.
      To answer your second question, yes his job has increased in stress. He has to manage soldiers where there once was no management. Therefore he is in charge of setting a new management role and raising the standards for his troop.
      Lastly, I’m the one who seems more interested to have sex. If it were up to me, I’d have sex with him every day. But he’ll say he’s too tired and such. But whenever he initiates the sex, I’m so “in need of it” that i don’t protest it. Therefore the answer is I always initiate but get “rejected”
      I agree, if he has energy to go to the gym, he has to have energy to have a heathly sex life. It’s also important to note that he “has” to go to the gym, to keep himself in shape as that is a requirement of his job. And his physical appearance has always been amazing.
      And as for myself, I worked in the make up/ cosmetic industry, so I’m pretty good at keeping myself physically attractive. As for my body, I don’t have the drive to go to the gym per say but I’m also not in bad shape. My body has always been the same.
      As for making friends in Texas, I’ve honestly tried. But having to deal with family, work, etc is stressful and gives me little time to try to make friends. My coworkers are good friends, but not to the point where I would hang out with them outside of work. And it’s also hard to find people with the same interests as me.
      And I have tried taking away the “once a week sex” but even then, he didn’t need me, as much as I feel I need him.


Anonymous - February 4, 2018

I have an arranged marriage I was 23and he was 40 plus. My guess is that he was into girls and parties but I am a quitter person. We have two boys 16 and twelve. I sleep in a different room since my first son was born unwantedly, Because my husband wants me to do it as he has to go to office and needs to sleep. He never hugs or kisses me. He has many female friends and often goes for happy hours. I never complained. But he has an image in his friends that he is a womanizer. Which I recently came to know. But he always refuses such things. He says don’t talk to me about this again every one does that.
And now by knowing him for so long I can say what he is and thinks. Now I don’t want anything from him no longer want love but I hate the feelings when someone else says something about him indirectly.just have insulted feelings. Which is not very nice.

Anonymous - February 4, 2018

I love my husband he is a heart patient too and I don’t want to hurt him in any case. I want to take care my family and live happily.
I don’t think I will be happier with another person after leaving him and with the guilt of breaking up the family. I can’t do that.
I just talked to him that I don’t want to ask for love or anything but when I hear something from outside sources that he is like that or …
then I don’t feel comfortable about his Image. Feel ashamed of it.
I also told him to finish all this I don’t like people insulting me indirectly.
Hopefully he will understand.
But whenever I Say something to him He goes and fights with his colleagues that why their wife’s talk about him.
He tells me He can’t close his eyes when he sees a woman. But it’s not only looking he approaches them invite them for tea lunch or happy hours. Which is disgusting. I know he doesn’t do anything else except chatting. But still it’s hurt full for me.
Hope this time I have communicated my feelings to him and he will understand and respect .that.

    Ivan Verr - February 6, 2018

    I guess people will talk and judge anyway, whatever the case, whatever we do or we don’t do. It’s down to how much you are willing to trust him and realize how important his image in people’s mind is for you. If there’s love and trust I personally wouldn’t care at all. If he invites these women I would consider having a serious chat with him about it, especially if this bothers you and you find it disrespectful (I would too). Make sure you take control of your emotions and are firm with him on things that annoy you, but also try and be tolerant with regards to things you can’t control such as what people say. If you love him, you’ll be willing to fight for him and perhaps tolerate people’s words. Marriage issues can only be solved with good communication.

      Amy - February 28, 2018

      Hi. I’ve been with my partner 7 years. And 4 years ago we had a baby. It’s been so stressful. He doesn’t like it if I don’t do things his way. He puts me down even when I’m trying. He says I don’t listen to him but I do everything and I struggle sometimes cause I suffer with depression as Well. He’s really nasty when we argue an I feel it doesn’t matter how good I do things nothing is ever good enough. Feel like I’m constantly walking on egg shells. Help please. I don’t know if leaving will be the right thing

Kristine Daniels - February 5, 2018

My husband and I have been growing apart over our 13 year marriage. It’s been one problem or stressor after another. I had a daughter who was 5 when we met with a lot of problems, ADHD for one. As she approached her teens it was a nightmare which drained our family and bank accounts treating her mental problems. We have had foreclosures, bankruptcies, so many problems. Now we live in Texas after leaving the Chicago area due to a job relocation. Texas is very different then IL. We have had to deal with the stresses of transitioning our family, which is now just us and our two very smart boys who are 9 and 11. Our daughter has moved away from us at 18 years old. It was a blessing. NOW, my husband needs cervical disc fusion and we have yet another hurdle. Needless to say, we’ve stayed together through it all. No affairs, no abuse, other than neglect. He is distant and distracted. He says it’s his job and his neck pain. I can’t stand it anymore. He has been neglectful and emotionally disconnected for years. We have sex once or twice a MONTH! It’s frustrating and hurtful and now I resent him for it all. I think I am falling out of love with him because of him pushing me away. Any advice?

    Ivan Verr - February 6, 2018

    Hi Kristine! Thanks for your comment. First of all, let me say that it’s admirable that you want to save your intimacy despite all the problems and stress you’ve been through! Not very many women would find the strength to do that in your situation.

    I know ADHD very well, and that’s a hard one to deal with, so I wish your daughter the best of luck. Hopefully there will be an effective way to manage it in the future.

    Back to intimacy, it’s again impressive how you too are still together and still have sex 1-2 a month. That’s already more than I would have expected given the situation described. Many couples I talk to, have NONE FOR YEARS! However, let me ask:
    1. How’s the sex *quality* overall?
    2. Who initiates most of the time?
    3. How is his health (apart from the orthopedic problem)? Is he in good shape?
    4. Did you use to have much sex before?
    5. Do you two still do things such as cuddling, holding hands, hug or any non-sexual forms affection?

    Let’s be clear on your options: women that I know that have solved this got through MAINLY in two different ways (usually either of those, but sometimes in a combo)
    The first is the “good” one, and it’s through better communication and by gradually increasing non-sexual affection (holding hands, cuddling etc) before moving to more sexual contact.
    The second is the “dark” one, which is through tapping into male competitiveness, jealousy, “chase”, or using psychology in a more “manipulative ” way. Bear in mind that while this is “dark”, it’s also for the good in the long run 😉
    Now, you need to figure which of these two ways would work best in your situation. Or you can try them both, and see what works!

Irma - February 17, 2018

I have been with my husband for 11 years and married for almost 4 out of those 11. We have two babies a 2 yr old and an 8 month old infant. My husband has always been soft spoken and introverted. But recently after I had my second child, he’s become more distant. If I don’t ask him how his day went or if he’s hungry or what time he goes to work he wouldn’t speak to me the entire day. He seems very distracted, he’s always on his cell phone reading articles, he doesn’t hide anything I have access to his phone. But this past year he doesn’t even lean in to kiss me, in the past when I would tell him how I felt about something he would be reassuring and affectionate. Now he doesn’t respond, he doesn’t care if I’m crying right next to him. Hell just ignore me, he doesn’t say I love you and has only said it a handful of times in our relationship. I could literally be right next to him talking to him and he won’t respond… until I call out his Name a couple of times and even after I call out his name he’ll just nod, say ok, whatever or I don’t care. I have asked him if he still loves me and he just gets mad and doesn’t answer me. He then keeps me on a silent treatment and acts like nothing happened after a day or two. With our kids, he doesn’t help out, they could be crying a storm and I can be struggling and instead of helping me he’ll just stare at us … forcing me to basically anyone elselse for help. I sometimes feel he’s only with me because he “settled” wanted financial stability and a place to live. I often think to myself that if he at some point did love me it was probably out of pity and now realizes that and feels bad to leave me with two babies or leaving his family. He’s very affectionate with them hugs and kisses them…. greets them but not me. Almost as if he’s forcing me to end our relationship and put it upon me to destroy our family. I feel so alone, so heart broken and like such a failure… regardless of whether he still loves me or not…. or wants to leave me or stay…. this attitude is something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life…. because he has made no efforts or shown any signs of wanting to change, or work in our relationship. I feel I’m the only one giving and I never receive anything.

    Ivan Verr - February 28, 2018

    By the way you describe his behavior, it sounds as he’s “punishing” you for something. Think about any unresolved past issues that you two might have buried. However, I suspect that he’s likely facing other psychological uncertainties that have nothing to do with you. Those could be either past issues or recent triggers, or both. Do you have sex at all if you don’t mind me asking ? Bear in mind that you’ve recently had a baby and this brings a great deal of changes, to which he might be responding differently to what you expect. Has his work life and activities changed recently? What about his health? Many factors need to be taken into account before drawing conclusions… Remember also that all comes down to how much you’ll willing to fight for him and if you feel like you’d be willing to go the extra mile to save the marriage. If he doesn’t take action, you will have to, the sooner the better (in whichever direction you deem appropriate). Ivan

Jenny - February 28, 2018

My husband has recently told me that he dosnt Love me anymore and has moved out of the house the next day. I feel beside myself not aware Of how unhappy he was. He is a very private person and dose not communicate very well and doesn’t express himself to me if he is upset.
He had just informed me that he was not happy. We have been together for 7 years and only just married october 2016.

I think that he had got to a point where he was financially exposed as we had just put an offer to purchase a house together. He did not want any financial commitments together and kept finances very private and to himself.
He thought, living as individuals financially was the way our marriage was going continue.
Until I had confronted him regarding joint health insurances and giving up working a couple of days a week to concentrate on my small business getting off the ground. He was not willing to support me if it came to that financially.

He had been living in my house for the best part of 6 years meanwhile paying off his property leasing it out for rent. His place is now payed off and unknown to me the tenants had moved out and he must have been planning to move back in for some time thinking of an escape out of the marriage.
I had also only just found out that he had been seeing a psychologist since we married as well.

Do you see this as a final goodbye to me as he has not shown any signs of missing me. Or telling me he feels lost without me in his life.

Look forward to hearing your response.

    Ivan Verr - April 10, 2018

    Hi Jenny!
    It seems as he’s been hiding a good portion of his life from you, which to me suggests he never really gave himself to you fully. I presume there wasn’t any instance of affairs on the side?- although that could explain his private behavior, as it could be likely that he met someone else and wanted to get out of the marriage commitment with you that perhaps he regretted. At this stage is perhaps too late to try and rescue the situation, as he has supposedly achieved what he really wanted.It’s best for you to just move on and be with someone capable of sharing their life with you. Painful ends often are just disguising new beginnings.

Pang - March 1, 2018

I been married to my husband for 17years. We have 4 beautiful children. He hardly says he loves me not ever says I am beautiful. More than ever he has been calling me stupid and always angry. He refuse to sleep with me. His anger issues cause fears among the children. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    Ivan Verr - March 10, 2018

    Hi Pang, thanks for writing to me. Did he compliment you or said that he loved you early on in the marriage? I know this doesn’t change the current reality of things but it might be important to know whether he might have changed due to a specific event or past issue. Anyway, if you’re worried about his anger issues you would need to seek out professional help especially because the children are involved. If he insults you constantly and he’s angry, it might be a sign of deeper emotional/psychological issues that he is facing, and that you have probably no control or responsibility over, and thus he will probably need professional help on that side too. That being said, remember that communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Do not by any means let him have the upper hand with abusive behavior but strive for a non-confrontational and healthy line of communication. This is more work that you need to do on yourself rather than on him. It might me hard at the beginning, but you need to re-attune your self-confidence and perception of self-worth and self-respect, and that will be the absolute first step to solving this and to improve the environment your children grow into. Do not hesitate to get friends or family members involved, but remember that once they leave your house or part company, it’s back to you and him again. Hence learn how to cultivate a constant source of strength for yourself and keep a tolerant but firm and steady presence both when with him and in front of the children. Hence do dot give up on trying to improve the communication, but promise to yourself that you will use this strength to put an end to this should things escalate and take a downward spiral. Ivan

Ghem - March 1, 2018

Hi we are been together as boyfriend girlfriend for 9 years and last nov. 2017 we decided to get married We have 1 son. Unfortunately he said that he doesnt love me anymore. But i feel that he love me. He hug me he kiss me. He text me. We do sex..
I want to save our marriage. What should i do.

    Ivan Verr - March 10, 2018

    Hi Ghem. Do you see any of the 6 signs described on this article?

katy - March 5, 2018

i have been married for 6 years and have 3 kids.
my husband still loves his ex ,no contact direct but always looking her profile facebook even he search her friends . we always fight with this issue. he apologised then continue.
but now im fed up
plz what shall i do

    Ivan Verr - March 10, 2018

    Hi Katy, thanks for reaching out. It’s a difficult situation to deal with. You will have to analyze your marriage to find pitfalls other than the shadow of his ex. I’m sure there will be other areas in which your marriage crumbles. Communication? Affection? Intimacy? Ignore the ex issue for the moment. Do not point it out to him any longer, and focus on whatever is really missing instead. Make a list of things that in your view are not working in your marriage and challenge him on those. Then, follow this advice: make it a rule to act more “cool” and relaxed about his virtual love affair, and he might no longer see his ex as a forbidden fruit. You may then start playing other cards such as making him jealous or improving aspects of your life such as physicality or personality without telling him; this may help sparking his interest in you again. Let me know how it goes. Ivan

Anitha - March 9, 2018

I always thought my husband loved me. Even when his mom hated me, i thought it must have been her insecurity, I never asked him to choose sides.
And now, when his mom keeps insulting me and accused me of my character, he told she is right. He also cleared, that he would be a bad son , if ,he had told she is wrong. He said , i should not have reverted ,for all her allegations . Because , according to him , his mom is everything and I came in his life later.
Does this mean he hates me?
What do i do?

    Ivan Verr - March 10, 2018

    Hey Anitha, thanks for stopping by. I have written a whole article on how to deal with problematic mother in laws. Check it out here: https://relationshipscope.com/mother-in-law-causing-problems-in-marriage/
    In a nutshell, he needs to take charge in creating a balance between his mother and his spouse. Also he needs to make clear to his mother that he will always stand by your side should a conflict happen. Your role is to try to develop a healthy line of communication with your mother in law and be willing to compromise sometimes for sake of harmony in your marriage and family.

Marivic - March 15, 2018

I am married for 18 years, recently u have 3 kids, my husband cheated me for 2 times, first time i forgave him for the sake of our childrens, again he cheated, is his second time of cheating that was a very worse cause i was infected with std, after treating that infections, he suggest me to have another child, i forgave again and i agree him, he promise me evrything, he makes me happy if i become pregnant again, its ok i gave him another child, but now while i am pregnant, i cannot feel that he loves me, he cares me, its very painful to me. I did not feel how important i am. I always crying cause he always insulting me, i feel i am emotionally and verbally abuse by him. I am regreted but for the sake of angel in my womb i try to be strong. All signs of husband that doesnt love to wives anymore really i feel it. I am planning after my delivery will leave, is my decisions right?

    Ivan Verr - June 7, 2018

    Marivic, most definitely that’s the best decision, and the only possible, in this situation! Why would you even want to stay with a person that instead of protecting you and his family is causing pain and trouble repeatedly and seemingly without regret? Trust your feelings, always, and remember that your self-love and self-respect is the absolute priority

Lori - March 16, 2018

My husband and I met at 19, dates for 7 years before we got engaged. About 3/4 years into dating he cheated. I made the decision to forgive him, the mistake I thought he would never repeat. He seemed so genuine and I believed he wouldn’t cheat again because he seemed like he went through hell over it. Not just for me, it just seemed like a huge wake up call to be the man he wanted.
Once we got married, things fell apart. I was un happy we moved into his parents house and he had unrealistic expectations of “wifely duties”. Right before our first year anniversary I was hit with big news that I needed to have a major back surgery. Although our relationship had been on the rocks, I thought he would be companionate and he wasn’t. The weekend before I hoped we would spend together as it was a couple days before our 1 year and I was going to have surgery 2 days after that…

He decided to “go out” with friends. When he came home at 330am he drunkenly passed out and I went though his phone to find texts between him and a coworker about meeting at a hotel that night. We decided to make an effort and he cut ties with the other woman.

I am still devastated, 6 months later.. now our sex life is minimal. Even with my efforts in telling him my desires and trying to initiate. He says it isn’t really an effort. He also made the comment, “ if I want it and I’ll initiate”… but he never does.

I feel unloved and rejected in a million different ways. I know I’m not perfect and have played my part with my attitude and frustrations. I want us to work but I feel lost. Any advice would be extremely welcomed.

    Ivan Verr - June 7, 2018

    Hey Lori! First of all thanks for stopping by 🙂 If your sex life is minimal it’s probably because he’s channeling his energy elsewhere – not saying he’s cheating, but he might have developed new interests /hobbies or simply being uninterested in the pursue of some other form of energy release – Dealing with rejection is not easy, but the usual advice I give to women in this case is to try and become a new person to spark his interest again. Transforming your physique can be a good trigger, although not always possible… improving your personality can do wonders if you hit the right spots with him. Don’t forget that communication is always the No.1 issue, and it seems that this is something you both need to work on. Ivan

Khushi - March 21, 2018

Hi …. i have been married for 7 years and my husband was sexually attracted to me only for first 4months after marriage…. after that we had no relation but he keeps on saying that he loves me. After 5 years i decided to get divorce but he apologized … then i went with him i trusted him again but all in vain…. now after 7 years i again left him becuz the problem is still persisting and he also doesn’t want me to maintain my relation with my parents and relatives but again he is saying to trust him and forgive him and now i don’t trust him anymore . He wanted me to stay with him forever . Also im totally under his control. What should i do???

Anna - March 24, 2018

I am married for 6 years,My husband started beating me after only one month of marriage, My husand says that men is superior than women and whenever any arguement is there he says lower your voice or else i will kill you, he beats me all the time, whenever i try tokeep an opinion he just tells me to keep quite, help i am relly depressed

Vicky jimenez - April 7, 2018

Hi im vicky im married for 7 years. my husband has mood swings can easily get angry even from just a small things if not gets in his way.and every time he gets angry with me he will say he wants to end our marriage. He also didn’t accept how thing are going while having our two kids that was both autistic. Until this third time we had a fight after he told me he dont want to look after the kids while at home. he said he wants a separation but i dont want because i think he is only stress.. he said that he will answer my call or text or emails. And promised that we will just talk after 5 months when he arrives from ship work. What should i do now?

Stargirl - April 27, 2018

I have been married for 7 years. Been together 9 years. I feel like my husband is drifting away. Always blaming it on work load or kids. I just don’t know if he is having a midlife crisis or emotional affair with a gym women? I don’t know what to do. Slight decline from sex from him. I started to be a little more distant see what happens, see if he really into me, testing him out. I had a turbulent year last yr with my mother died.

Stargirl - April 27, 2018

He blames on me getting more stressed. That hes not here. I want him more. I playing a game when he goes to the gym I bugger of out to p him off. Yesterday didn’t work. He came bk early.

Angela - May 25, 2018

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Whenever we fight, he says the most hurtful things, even says horrible things about certain parts of my body which has left me with low self esteem. He calls me the nastiest of names and has a lot of fury in him whenever we have an argument. I’m so confused because when we are out in public, he can’t keep his hands off me, and will give me attention the whole time. He takes me out on dates often but we only have sex once a month. I have left for 2 months and given him space but a big part of me doesn’t want to go back although the other part misses the good person that I married him for.

Diana - June 10, 2018

Hi.My husband lives in the USA and I live in U.A.E.We’ve been married for a year and half now.I’m 20& he’s 27.I was 18 at the time of marriage.It was an arranged marriage.We didn’t get much time to know each properly before marriage.We just met & within a month everything happened.After marriage we spent just 17days together.After that he left for US.He couldn’t come and see me because he’s very busy there & has a big family to take care of.I never forced him to come and see me because I understand his problem.
Few days back we had a sort of argument.We were talking about random stuffs.In between he started talking about how he never had a girlfriend and how good he was before marriage.He calls these ‘sacrifices’.So I told him that I too did certain stuffs for him.I stopped talking to all my guy friends.I blocked all of them on Facebook because after marriage he told me to do so.I didn’t mind because I love him like crazy & I’m ready to do anything & everything for him.Few days back another guy friend of mine sent me a friend request on Facebook(I wasn’t friends with him before).I didn’t accept it because my husband doesn’t want me to talk to them.I told this to my husband,that I did it for him because I love him.I also told him that I never forced him to come and see me because I understood all his problems.I called it my sacrifice.He got angry at me for telling him all this.We haven’t spoken properly for 6 days now.Usually he used to call me whenever he used to get time.But now he doesn’t.When I call him,he doesn’t speak much.He just answers whatever I ask.I didn’t call him for 2 days now.Yesterday I texted him twice(2 long texts),apologising to him & letting him know that I’m always ready to hear him out anytime he feels like he needs to vent about this. He replied that he wasn’t pissed anymore.But I feel like he still is. Usually when he gets angry,he needs some time(around 1week-2weeks)to get back to normal.That’s why I’m trying to give him some time.
He doesn’t call or text me.& I’m not sure if I should.I don’t know if contacting him will make things better or worse.I’m really scared.I feel he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore.Maybe he doesn’t care.He regrets marrying.He wanted to marry a few years later but his family forced him to do it now.I feel bad when he says that because I feel like he regrets marrying specifically me.If it was some other girl he wouldn’t have regretted so much.I feel that way. What should I do?Please help me.As soon as you can.Please.Should I try & talk to him?Please help.

Diana - June 10, 2018

I feel like my husband doesn’t love me anymore.I don’t know what to think & what to do.I want to save my marriage.I can’t live without my husband.I love him so much.I can’t imagine my life without him.Please help me.

Prisca - June 13, 2018

My name is Prisca, have been married for 5years, i have just one kid of 2yrs, but my husband does not give me money for food and house needs monthly, i end up speeding my salary on the baby needs and food stuff in d house, though he work’s, but he end up telling me he does not have money, its usually piss me off, and wen dere is no food in house he blames me for every thing. dont kno wat to do

Diane - May 29, 2019

Hello Ivan,
I have been with my partner for about 8 years in December. We have a 4 year old daughter as well and my problem with him is him never really having time for me. I guess we go out once a week as a family, but I feel communication wise he tends to kind of not want to deal with that most of the time because he is either too tired or doesn’t want to have to deal with it again. I feel like he does love me, but when it comes down to the point of arguing it’s very hard to get to a clear understanding of what it is I want from him. I do my best to keep him happy since he is the one who works and I stay at home as a house mom with my daughter, but I feel like he doesn’t really see what I do. At this point I do not know what to do since I wouldn’t want my daughter dealing with her parents splitting up nor I also wouldn’t want to stay in a relationship where I don’t feel heard most of the time anymore. But I would really want for us to work out if there is a way I shall talk to him. Help me please.
– Diane

    Ivan Verr - June 2, 2019

    Hello Diane, and thanks for your message. The first problem you have mentioned is “him not having time for you”. It’s important to follow the timeline of such issues, in other words when exactly into the relationship you have started noticing the problem. Was it early on in the relationship? Or perhaps during or after the birth of your daughter? If something like a life event changed things in your relationship, it is likely that reality has crushed his expectations of what marriage entails in terms of emotional compromises…
    You say that “he is either too tired or doesn’t want to deal with it again”. He can be tired after work, but cannot be tired 24/7! Clearly he is annoyed by the fact that you bring this up and tries to avoid facing the issue as much as possible. You say “it’s very hard to get to a clear understanding of what it is I want from him”.This is crucial: you need to make sure that he understand clearly what you want from him. And you need to understand what you want too! Men can’t deal with “broad statements”! The following technique has helped me a lot in communication issues: When you have a moment of privacy, write down what it is that you want from him *exactly* It needs to be a simple and clear message, that he cannot misunderstand, and needs to contain a specific example. Read it aloud, think about it repeatedly, and make sure it’s 100% clear to you. Then you can pass the message onto him, with the exact same words. If this doesn’t work, at least you know you have done your job at communicating the issue in the marriage, and he has no excuses to not deal with the issue. Hope this helps, if you’d like to follow up on this please email me at ivan@relationshipscope.com

Kenya - October 13, 2019

I have been married for 12 years and together for 18. There is no infidelity in our story. His brother in law was murdered and it affected him so badly that he withdrew from me completely. This cause me to become anxious and depressed however due to the extreme circumstances I didn’t notice. He also suffers from anxiety and I suspect depression although he won’t admit it. During the trial he refused to let me accompany him to the court leaving me alone and afraid for three days in a row each week. Even when he returned he worked every other day. This rejection affected me badly and as such I wasn’t much support during this difficult time. I thought when the trial was over and the criminals were in prison we would start to get our life back however he barely speaks to me, is out all of the time and by his own admission feels nothing towards me and he wants to move out. However he won’t move out because he says what happens if he comes out of the other side of it and finds he has thrown every thing away. I don’t want to end it all but I also can’t cope with being blamed for everything and receiving absolutely no affection. I am so anxious I ended up in hospital with dangerously high blood pressure and I really don’t know how to carry on.


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