5 Ways To Make Your Wife Fall In Love Again
The other night I was chatting with one of my close friends about life stuff and I asked him how things were going with his wife. His answer was "fine", but his eyes betrayed him. Nothing was fine, really, as I would discover later on when he opened up a bit with me.
It's funny how us men sometimes have to hide our own feelings to conform to our "role" or simply to fit in. And how hard it is to admit that sometimes things are not "fine", even to our family, friends, let alone ourselves. It's almost as other people's perception of our life should be the priority, even more important than our own, real happiness.
But it doesn't have to be this way. And, most importantly, it shouldn't really be.
You should always allow yourself to express your emotions as a man, and to express your right to look at things at face value, without worrying about other people's judgment or opinion. This is what I call real freedom. And it's what, eventually, can lead to real solutions to your problems, whatever they are.
So let's look at the issue with utter transparency: my friend's wife had fallen out of love with him. And "so what?" I thought. Can you force someone, anyone to love you? No. Is there such a thing as a love elixir he could give his wife to make her fall in love with him again? Certainly not...
But is there anything you can do to at least try to make your wife fall in love with you again? Hell yeah! And if you're serious about saving your marriage, trying is the least you can do!
I enjoy helping people, both men and women, building a beautiful life, both as singles and in their relationship. It's hard work, but pays off in the long run. And it even helps me, as I am a man myself, and a human being in need of constant improvement, day after day.
5 ways to make your wife fall in love again with you (and be a better man more generally)
So, as promised, find below the 5 best ways to make your wife fall in love again with you. These were crafted personally by myself, based on my experience with women, and on that of the many men that I've helped so far. I have attached a little explanation to each of those tips to make sure you understand unequivocally why they're important.
I have to warn you though: these are 100% no-BS tips. They are simply based on the way women's biology and psychology works, nothing more, nothing less. So, if you're expecting over-complicated or vague one-size-fits all type of advice, click away because this article is not for you. Also, if you're expecting things like: talk to her, respect her and listen to her more, etc. as proposed solutions: guess what, this article is not for you. I just do not believe that doing more of the "nice guy" things will help you in any way.
I myself like to approach these things with a free, realistic and practical mindset. I stick to what works and has worked for me and others, and I can't care less about what you're supposed to do. It's just not worth my time, and most certainly not worth your time if you're here looking for ways to make your wife fall in love again with you.
Lastly, these 5 things won't just help you making your wife (or any woman, for that matter) falling in love with you. I consider those tips as part of some kind of "doctor's prescription" for your success, both with women and in life more generally.
Nicely packaged and broken down for you, ready to put into practice starting today. You're welcome.
1. Get (and stay) in shape
Yes, I know. It sounds trite and it's something that is easy to dismiss, but give me a chance to make my case. This is something that goes back to prehistoric times, when men were hunter-gatherers. In those days, the strongest men that could guarantee the best genes to their offspring also got to choose the best women in their group (or were chosen by the best women). Now, a lot has changed since then, and you no longer need to be the "strongest man in your tribe" to make a woman fall in love with you. Other things such as social status matter more; but trust me, on a deeper level, women are still attracted to strong physiques as subconsciously, they still seek that sense of protection from a man. They still carry this selection criterion in their genetics as it helps our evolution as species. And if you've become fat and lazy over the past few months (or years) of marriage, well I'm not surprised your wife has lost interest in you. You're basically slowly becoming nothing more than scrap material for evolution. You genes will be modified by your own sedentary lifestyle, and will be excluded from the natural selection, eventually. Even your kids will inherit those modified genes, and they will also naturally inherit the tendency to get fat and to be lazy. No woman wants to mate with a fat and lazy man whose offspring will have a poor chance of survival. So, let's start from the basics: you've got to get the physical part down first. Women do care about it. Period.
If your wife has fallen out of love with you, you will definitely find that getting more fit will help make her attracted to you all over again (even though it probably won't be enough on its own). And if it doesn't help (happy to be proven wrong) well, getting a ripped up body most definitely won't hurt your chances, present and future, and will improve your health and quality of life for sure!
2. Show more ambition
Here it comes, another obvious one! Seriously? OK, I'll stop after this, I promise. But then again, I'm here to help so... the first thing I will do is crushing your dream of a life of "fairy tale" love and they-lived-happily-ever-after kinda thing. Why? Because let's face it: that kind of "love" does not exist. It's just a creation of the entertainment industry. Most Hollywood movies that revolve around "love" show us a surrealistic version of reality that will never ever be close to the one we actually live in.
I could go even go as far as saying that love itself as we know it doesn't really exist, because we only know it for what we've been taught and shown. And if what we've been taught and shown belongs to world of imagination, that's the only place it actually exists in.
Anyway, the problem is, we do look up to those make-believes and even wish they'd become real for us, one day. Nothing wrong with dreaming, but don't cry when your wife leaves you for someone else who was just capable of living in the real world out there. Which is a jungle, needless to say...
A bit like the working out tip above, this is something that you can only understand clearly when you're looking at the bigger picture. And that is, in a nutshell: women are biologically hardwired to choose their mates based on their chances of survival and on that of their children. They're essentially making an investment in your seed over someone else's. And it's an expensive investment. Think about it: they're going to be pregnant and nursing babies for a good part of their adult life, during which they might be non-self sufficient. They will need support, and that is your job. A man that does not have ambition to succeed in the real world out there, won't be attractive. And that explains why many wives fall out of love with their husbands when these guys start sitting on the laurels of the marriage, and lose most of their original source of energy. On top of that, money troubles have been identified as the most common reason for divorce.
If your wife has fallen out of love with you, remind her that you have great plans, and that you're working hard to achieve your goals for yourself and your family. Show your results with your actions more than with your words. Try to understand that, no matter how harsh or dream-crushing it might sound, real love and attraction, in the end, is a matter of biological and emotional priorities. She won't let you down if you show her you're not willing to give up on her. It shows her your real value as a man: the higher the value you can provide, the lesser the chance she'd be willing to lose you for a momentary mood swing or even a dramatic turn of events.
3. Re-create your lifestyle
Do you know what makes a woman value her husband the most? It's not his looks, not even his money... I'll help you (we don't have all day here): it's how other women see him. Why? Well, there's another biological reason for this called "pre-selection", and it works this way: if a man has women in his life (other than his wife and his mother), a female will know that he is a valuable male. She doesn't even have to do a lot of work upfront to screen him and find out if this is true, because other women have already done this (otherwise they wouldn't be around him). If it's other men that value and respect you it's also good. In fact, if you're valued and respected by other men as a friend, as a coworker or anything else, it's likely that women will find you attractive anyway.
So, how do you build this pre-selection and great social circle around you? I don't have all the answers, but I am a huge believer in the fact that each one of us human beings talented in something. Some people haven't discovered what their talent is, and some never will. Or you might know your talent, but you haven't had yet the time or the energy to develop it fully. Whatever the case, the key to being attractive to the ladies is to be passionate about life. No woman desires to be with a boring man, stuck in a boring daily routine, with nothing exciting to talk about with her girlfriends.
If your wife has fallen out of love with you, try to re-create your lifestyle. Pick up a new hobby (personally, I have recently taken up archery), learn new things, travel more often (both with your wife and on your own), get involved in something new. Become the man your wife wants to talk about to her girlfriends to make them jealous. Do not be afraid of getting other women involved in your life as long as your marriage bond is respected (be aware that this is not a promo for cheating). A little healthy jealousy is never a bad thing for your wife if you want to make her fall in love with you again.
4. Become a better speaker
Have you ever heard that saying that goes: "Men love with their eyes, women with their ears"? It's amusing to say the least, how many men still fail to understand this basic concept when it comes to women. This is important because it has to do with the way the female brain works, plain and simple. The right side of the brain, the emotional side, is more developed in most women compared to men. On the contrary, the left side of the brain which is more rational and visual, is more developed in most men compared to women. This is why women close their eyes when they're making love, while men like to keep them open. And this is also why women fall in love with men that know how to talk to them, that know how to make their emotions fly just by using the right words, spoken with the right tone and using the right rhythm. On the other hand, the typical man women fall out of love with it's usually a man that has lost his focus, and this is also evident by the way he speaks. His voice is often broken, lacks rhythm ( he's either too talkative or too quiet) and has an unstable pitch and tone.
I won't lie: knowing how to talk to women is an art, and as such requires practice. Here's a few things to consider if you want to become a great speaker and improve your attractiveness:
1. Tonality. The first advice I can give you is to master your tonality to keep a low, smooth pitch when you speak. Women are usually attracted to men with deep, low voice as this is a characteristic of more masculine men, with higher testosterone and other manly features. Most importantly, speak slower and with a firm but fluid tone (think about Sean Connery or Clint Eastwood's voice). It's not much about what you say to her, but how you say it!
2. Rhythm. Pay attention to your speaking patterns duration and pauses when you speak to her. Create a nice, flowing phrasing rhythm and don't be afraid of silences, as they are important to create the space for your voice to be heard. To master your patterns in speaking, it can help you keeping a 60:40 ratio between time spent talking and time pausing.
3. Words choice. Take special care when choosing your words, and make a small effort to improve your vocabulary and language fluency (even if it's your native language). The more words and expression you know, the easier it would be to lead a conversation and make it more interesting.
4. Attitude. Remember also to be playful when you speak to her, and don't ever give her canned responses or overly direct answers. Make your conversation flow smoothly and naturally, and give her room to respond and to chase you with questions. Work on your sense of humor, and use it wisely and with the right timing. Allow yourself to be edgy on occasion, but keep a nice balance between humor and more "serious" kind of talk in your conversational topics.
If your wife has fallen out of love with you, you may find that improving your ability to talk to her will help you reignite her attraction for you. Work on your tonality, rhythm, word choice and attitude to learn how to speak with her on a daily basis. If you become a good speaker, you can also become almost automatically a great seducer, and your wife will be the first person to notice that.
5. Be more unpredictable
Do you remember how your romance life was when you first met your wife? Was it boring and dull like your current daily routine, or was there some kind of emotional roller-coaster, and even a bit of drama, especially around the time when she fell in love with you? Even if it didn't feel like anything too shocking back then (or even now upon recalling these memories) I can almost guarantee that the emotions between you two were running way higher than they do now. The problem is that it's impossible to recreate those love-is-in-the-air emotions after many months or years of marriage. it's because that's just the first stage of love, and after that initial spike of emotions your relationship should have evolved healthily through the next stages. I guess that, as you've been reading this guide so far, it probably hasn't. But no need to worry, as there is still hope for you to make your wife falling in love with you again.
Women like drama, let's face it. I personally know some of them that are literally addicted to drama, and they need it for their relationship to even sustain itself through out the years. I've had women obsessing over me just by intentionally creating that extra amount of drama in their life. It comes down once again to the way the female brain works. They are attracted to men that spike their emotions and they get bored and eventually fall out of love with men that become predictable. Hence why many women cheat on their husbands when they feel "smothered" and they need that extra emotional spike in their life that they can't get from him any longer. Also, remember that the human mind works in a twisted way sometimes, and we find ourselves wanting things that we can't quite understand or get a hold of. It's nothing too difficult to do, and it doesn't have to be exaggerated either (or it would end up being counterproductive). One good tip that has worked very well for me is in being a little more contradictory. Contradictions are the source of all dramas: when your words and your actions no longer match you'll get a bit of drama. Try for yourself (but use moderately!).
If your wife has fallen out of love with you, try to revive her feelings for you by becoming a little less predictable in your actions and words. See what happens when you surprise her by being a little more adventurous in your day-to-day decisions. Do something out of the ordinary from time to time, that you haven't planned with her, or that she is not expecting. Behave in a wild way sometimes when things are too quiet, or show that you can take control when everyone is panicking. Become a man with more of a mysterious side than she thought you were over the past months or years. Watch her as she becomes playfully nervous when you're around, waiting for your next move. This will inevitably arise her interest in you again, as there's always going to be something to spike her emotions when she least expects it.
I have researched extensively all the online resources available for married men looking to restore the passion and the intimacy in their marriage, and I recommend the one below, which in my opinion is the most effective. This simple method has already helped thousands of men building a great, long-lasting sexual connection with their wife.
Welcome to my marriage and relationship advice blog! If you’re having intimacy issues in your marriage or relationship you’ve come to the right place. In this blog I share the best of the best on how to fix a sexless marriage and to deal with other intimacy-related problems.