In Love With Someone But The Relationship Is Toxic : Here’s What To Do
Being in love with someone, but the relationship is toxic, can be a very difficult situation to deal with. You feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, not knowing what to do.
On one hand, you don’t want to let go of the person that you love, but on the other hand, you know that being in this relationship is bad for you.
If this sounds like something that you are dealing with right now, don’t worry – you are not alone. We will give some advice on what to do if you find yourself in this situation.
What Is A Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is one that is based on unhealthy patterns of behavior. This can include things like verbal or emotional abuse, manipulation, possessiveness, jealousy, and so on.
If you are in a relationship where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells all the time, or if you don’t feel like yourself when you are around your partner, then it is likely that the relationship is toxic.
15 Signs That The Relationship Is Toxic
Controlling Behavior
If your partner tries to control what you do, who you talk to, or how you dress, then this is a sign of a toxic relationship. Relationships are about two people being equal partners and when one partner tries to control the other it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Emotional Abuse
This includes things like verbal attacks, insults, threats, and humiliation. If your partner is constantly putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, then this is a sign of emotional abuse.
Your partner should make you feel good about yourself, not the other way around.
Isolation
Your partner may try to isolate you from your friends and family. They may try to control who you talk to and what you do. This is a way for them to have more control over you.
Manipulation
Manipulative partners often use guilt trips and emotional blackmail in order to get what they want. They have ulterior motives in the things they say and do to try and make you feel or act a certain way.
Jealousy
If your partner is always questioning you about where you are and who you are with, they may be jealous. This is a sign that they don’t trust you and it can be very harmful to the relationship.
Possessiveness
Your partner may try to control what you do, where you go, and who you talk to. One partner being very possessive makes it extremely difficult for a relationship to work long-term.
Trust Issues
If your partner has trust issues, it can be very difficult to have a healthy relationship with them. Trust is essential in any relationship and if one person doesn’t trust the other, it will not last.
Trying To Change You
If your partner is constantly trying to change you that is a sign the relationship is headed in a bad direction. Personal growth is great, but someone trying to change you to be who they want you to be is wrong.
All The Effort Comes From You
A relationship should be 50/50, but if it seems like you are doing all the work and your partner is not contributing anything, then it is a sign of trouble. This can be very draining and frustrating.
You Feel Like You Are Walking On Eggshells
If you are constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, it is not a healthy relationship. You should be able to be yourself without feeling like you have to watch what you say or do.
You Are Not Yourself
If you are not yourself when you are around your partner, then it is a sign that the relationship is toxic. You should be able to be yourself without feeling the need to hide who you really are.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
If your partner is passive-aggressive, it means they express their feelings indirectly. This can be through things like sulking, eye rolling, or silent treatment.
They won’t come out and say what they are really thinking but instead act in negative ways and when questioned about it say that it’s nothing.
Lying
If your partner is always lying to you, it is a sign that the relationship is toxic. Lying destroys trust and without trust, there is no relationship.
Keeping Score
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to give and take. If your partner is always keeping score of who did what and who owes who, then it is a bad sign.
This can lead to resentment and bitterness. It is not fair to constantly bring up someone’s past mistakes over and over.
Making Excuses For Your Partner
If you find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior, it is a sign that the relationship is toxic.
You should not have to explain away their bad behavior or make excuses for it. This is not healthy and will only lead to more hurt down the road.
Can A Toxic Relationship Be Fixed?
It is possible for a toxic relationship to be fixed, but it will take a lot of work. Both partners need to be committed to changing the relationship and they need to be willing to work on it.
They must be able to admit to the things they are doing wrong. It will not be easy, but it is worth it if you want to save the relationship.
How To Fix A Toxic Relationship
If you want to try and fix a toxic relationship, here are some things that you can do:
- Talk to your partner about your concerns and explain how their behavior is affecting you.
- Be willing to listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective.
- Work on rebuilding trust by being honest and truthful with each other.
- Be willing to compromise and meet in the middle.
- Don’t make excuses for your partner’s behavior and hold them accountable.
- Try to have some fun together and enjoy each other’s company.
- Talk about the things that you are grateful for in the relationship.
- Make a commitment to work on the relationship and stick with it.
The Difference Between Abuse And A Toxic Relationship
While abuse is a type of toxic relationship, there are key differences. Abuse is characterized by physical violence or threats thereof, while toxicity can exist without any physical violence.
Other key differences include:
- Toxicity is typically rooted in emotional insecurity, while abuse is often about power and control.
- Toxicity can be gradual and often less visible than abuse, which is typically more sudden and severe.
- Abuse is always wrong, while toxicity can sometimes be fixed.
- Abuse typically involves one partner repeatedly hurting the other, while toxicity is often about a pattern of hurtful behaviors.
- Abuse is about inflicting pain, while toxicity can also be about emotional neglect.
If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to get out and seek help. There are many resources available for victims of abuse, including hotlines, shelters, and counseling. You are not alone.
Seek Professional Help If Necessary
If you have tried to fix your toxic relationship but nothing seems to be working, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you and your partner understand the dynamics of the relationship and how it has become toxic.
They can provide guidance on how to fix it and hopefully help you repair your relationship. If you decide to seek professional help, make sure to find a therapist that both you and your partner feel comfortable with.
Move On If Things Don’t Improve
At some point, you have to take a long hard look at your relationship and see if it can be fixed. If not, as painful as it is, you need to find a way out of the relationship.
How To Leave A Toxic Relationship
- Leaving a toxic relationship can be difficult, but it is possible. Here are some steps that you can take to help make the process easier:
- Talk to your partner about your concerns and explain that you want to leave the relationship.
- Be honest and truthful with each other.
- Try to have some final conversations where you both express how you feel about the relationship.
- Make a plan for leaving and stick to it.
- Take care of yourself during and after the breakup.
- Seek support from friends or family members.
- Tell a friend or family member about your plans to end the relationship before the breakup happens in case you are worried how the other person may respond.
- Move on and don’t look back.
If you have tried everything and your partner is unwilling or unable to change the toxic aspects of the relationship, it is probably time to move on.
This is not always easy, but it may be necessary. Remember that you deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship. Do not settle for anything less.
