5 Ways To Get Your Husband To Have Sex With You
It is a feeling of loneliness and rejection. He doesn’t look at you with desire, and it feels like years since he touched you. There is no fire in his eyes, and your marriage remains tasteless and hopeless. Jodie (not her real name) knows the feeling well. She’s been there and struggled through it. I invited for a coffee to chat about it. “I felt so insecure and less beautiful when my husband didn’t want sex. ” She said, recalling that difficult time in her marriage.
When I first met Jodie a few years ago she was desperate and on the verge of ending her 10-year marriage because of the total lack of intimacy. Many other ladies that I have personally coached were in the very same situation, and over the years I have developed a certain “expertise” in solving women’s intimacy problems. I suggested five ways to get her husband to have sex with her. Halfheartedly she tried them and then the unexpected gradually happened: they are now going at it like rabbits. So, if you are in a sexless marriage, don’t think less of yourself and, above all, do not give up before trying. Below are the 5 simple tricks that Jodie used and that you should try to reinvigorate his fire.
1. Allow him to miss you
Can this be true? Yes, and you have to try out to find out. It can be a difficult situation to be in a sexless marriage, but you cannot just force him to do it. If he likes to be left alone because he is tired or distracted with stuff like work, give him some space. Stop nagging him to spend time with you. Stop suffocating his personal space. Allow him to miss you.
Call up your friends and spend time with them that will help with your loneliness. He is likely to notice that. But don’t stop there, dress in private, sleep in a separate bedroom if you have to. It shouldn’t take long before he comes to you.
2. Get closer to him emotionally
If the above trick doesn’t work, then perhaps your husband feels unwanted and unwelcome by you. In this instance you have to move closer, not physically but emotionally. How often do you spend time with him? Do you like doing what he loves? Failure to show interest in your husband’s passions can make him less passionate. Take steps to make your husband your best friend by doing fun things together.
Jodie says: “For my husband and me, our daily schedules were the mood killer. Everyone went their separate ways every day to earn a living. Without realizing it, I wake up one day to find a sexual rift between us. After sensing that my husband doesn’t want to have sex with me, I planned ways we could spend more time together. We went out on dates, we went shopping together, and we went to the same gym in the morning before work. We just looked for opportunities to bond despite our busy schedules. All the while I never ceased to tell him nice things. I held his hands when walking with him. I hugged him more, and I always found a reason to kiss him. I let him know that I appreciated how he worked hard to provide for the family. In the end, my effort was well paid.”
3. Break the daily routine of things
At some point, marriage becomes all about children, budgets and plans for the future. All these can be the distraction and libido killer for your husband. Break away from that monotony. Get a house help to do your house chores so that you get to spend time with him. Sleep in together, make him his favorite meal, play his favorite music.
Take the kids to their grandparents’ so that you can go out with your husband. Dress to impress, and arrive separately at the venue. During the date, don’t talk about children or budgets. Remind him of the days when he couldn’t get enough of you, and kiss him passionately after the date.
Plan to go on a romantic holiday with him. It doesn’t have to be long; it can be just a simple weekend getaway. This will also give both of you quality time to talk about your relationship’s achievements and failures. He is more likely to open up about his deepest desires or pains.
4. Talk bedroom matters and work on your sex appeal
Oftentimes men suffer from low sexual desires due to performance anxiety. If he thinks that he does not satisfy you in bed, chances are he will do his best not to touch you. You can help him feel good about himself. First, compliment him on the sexual things he does right. This should boost his male ego a little and make him feel more “sexed-up”.
If there is an issue you would want him to correct or improve, tell him in the most polite and nonjudgmental way. Let him know that you trust he will do better. Remind him that is the most attractive and sexiest man you have ever met.
Alongside bedroom talk, you could work on improving your sex appeal. Maybe you have gained some extra weight recently after having a baby, or just because of sedentary lifestyle. Take an effort to shed a few pounds. Eat a balanced diet and go for a morning run. Groom nicely, and put on some beautiful clothes that show off your fabulous body. Do your hair and put on some makeup. Get some hot lingerie to ensnare his mind when you are alone with him. Visual stimulation always works on men. There is no way he will resist you if you are looking irresistible.
5. Go 50 shades darker
A little kinkiness never hurts. What it does is that it chases boredom away from your bedroom. Learn some new tricks and positions. After the heart and to heats you have had in the dates, by now you should know what his bedroom dreams are made of. Don’t be reserved; you will dampen the mood. For your husband to want to have sex with you every day, you will have to be an eager partner. You have to show that you are enjoying yourself when it’s happening.
Trust me, if you just lie there during sex, your husband will soon opt for porn and masturbation and forget that you ever existed. Let your man know that you are adventurous and willing to try what he might have in mind. Be submissive if you have to, or a dominatrix if he desires to be controlled. Be spontaneous, try the couch, the kitchen, or even the floor. It always feels different and exciting that way.
Many couples are silently struggling with a sexless marriage. That doesn’t have to be you. Use the above tips and get your husband to have sex with you.
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