A Comprehensive 10 Step Guide on How to Get Your Husband Back
It could be really painful and heartbreaking for you to wake up one morning and find that your husband has decided that it is over between the two of you. In fact, it is even more traumatizing to realize that he is leaving you for another woman after you have been together for quite some time.
As a result, there comes emptiness, loneliness, and anger that is too grim to bear. At some point some, you may feel that your heart has been ripped open.
The void left behind sends you into a moment of reminiscence as the only way to revisit the glorious past, the good old days and the kind of future you dreamt together. It becomes a time to reflect on what went wrong and who’s to blame in the long run.
With time, you end up feeling like a true failure where everything becomes meaningless including life itself. Within no time, depression takes a better part of you and you find yourself on the verge of giving up in every aspect of life.
How awful and unfair it is to love someone so much only to get disappointed when you least expected? Do you sit back and let nature take its course? In this article, I shall give you important tips on how to get your husband back, and redeem yourself worth. But before we get to that, it is better to look into what might have constituted that separation.
What was the likely cause of that separation?
You should be ready to learn from your mistakes and his mistakes as well. To be fair you need to sit down and find possible reasons that resulted in terminating your marriage abruptly. If not, you will find it difficult to reconcile with the reality once your partner is gone.
By facing your fears and worries, you will be working towards possible means you can bring your husband back into your arms. Therefore, there are some obvious reasons that might have contributed to that separation and some of the key ones are discussed in the following paragraphs.
Communication is important in a relationship and even better between couples. Communication is an essential tool that will enable you to gauge your partner's moods and feelings while staying together.
Without proper communication, your relationship could be heading south and soon or later, things will fall apart between the two of you. Feel free to talk and express yourself to your partner. After all, he's part of you and it is crucial to let him know how you are carrying on when you are together.
The root source of all disagreements in a marriage should be established immediately in order to learn from previous mistakes. The earlier the better, but if left to pile, the outcome could be detrimental. As stated earlier, it is good to maintain a healthy communication to share your triumphs and your failures together. Otherwise, it could be too late for both of you.
Could it be infidelity?
Cheating is the worst case scenario in any established marriage. Extra-marital affairs have been known to crumble down what took many years to build. Empires fall and Kingdoms scatter because one of the couples went seeking for the orbidden fruit lsewhere.
For instance, the legendary Trojan War was triggered when Helen ran away with Prince Paris to Troy and this selfish act led to the destruction of two major empires in history. This is a perfect example of the devastating effects of infidelity.
Cheating is painful and so demoralizing that one of you ends up feeling worthless and unappreciated. Once bitten twice shy and this is how it goes down with extra-marital affairs. In fact, it gets more dramatic when you, as a wife, was involved with someone else other than your husband.
As a result, that trust that existed before comes to a sad end and even though forgiveness is the only way out, memories of that incident is really a painful reminder of what transpired.
However, it is also important to know what led to one of you going stray. Everything happens for a reason and cheating has its own reasons especially when it involves either a husband, wife or even both.
By nature, men are known to be promiscuous but the bottom line is that they do it with other women rather than their real partners. Whichever the case, cheating is cheating and it is wrong for married individuals hence it shouldn’t be encouraged at all costs.
For women, it starts with the craving for attention that perhaps they don't get it from their husbands. They want to feel appreciated, treasured, excited and somehow poilt' a little bit.
If none of these is happening with their immediate partners, the guy next door could easily take over provided that he displays those qualities that make a woman feel like a real woman despite being married. On the other hand, men would cheat to feel that they have ccomplished' a difficult task but in most cases, they don't get emotionally involved, unlike women.
Another reason that could make couples cheat is a poor intimate life or lack of it and this could prompt one of you to get intimate elsewhere. Whatever the case, you need to find a way out of any temptations that could jeopardize your marriage. On that note, let's find out how you can win your husband back to you and live happily ever after.
10 Tips on how to get your husband back
Find below 10 of the best tips to get your husband back and bring back the love and passion in your marriage. While I cannot guarantee that these tips will miraculously fix a broken marriage, as every circumstance is different, I can assure you that they will help you and your husband improve your relationship and set the tone to get your husband back in your arms.
1. Learn to be apologetic regardless of what happened
It does not matter who is on the wrong. What is important is to regain your happiness by finding a possible solution to your prevailing situation. An apology, however simple it may be, can create a lot of differences in your love life. Reach out to your partner and simply say sorry.
Nothing breaks a man's heart like seeing his wife taking the burden of blame whenever there is a standoff in the house. Your man will feel guilty and quickly make up with you as a way to rectify his mistakes. On the other side, you should also apologize if at all you are at fault.
It will cost you no harm in admitting your mistakes and taking drastic measures to correct them when you make an apology. Even though men are egocentric, they are emotional beings too. Explain your case clearly and save yourself the agony of losing that person you so much cherish in your life. Both of you are together to work things out and make your family a perfect one.
2. Take your time and talk it out
As said earlier, this is the time to communicate and also, confront the situation as it is. Tackle all the burning issues on your side and give him a chance to share with you what he feels is not right as far as your union is concerned. That is why proper communication is over-emphasized in marriage.
3. Find a way to reconnect
This is the tricky part that needs courage from both partners. It is not a time to showcase your prejudice but it is a reconciliation step to starting all over again. Though a delicate matter, this could be a better chance to reconnect and to establish a new bond by adopting good virtues from your initial relationship when you started off together.
To achieve this, you can lay down your current plans and decide on your future prospects together. But, where do you even start in the first place especially when your separation was a hectic one?
The best way is to give it a little more time to let everything settle naturally before seizing the opportunity again. You can start off by talking casually, meeting at your favorite joints together to have a normal conversation and of course establish a friendship.
On the contrary, don't engage in flirtatious activities that will make him misjudge you. Simply avoid bringing up past mistakes or act as though you are still married. Your objective here is to find a way to reconnect emotionally and that needs careful approach lest you miss out on everything. When you do it right, well, you will be smiling back into your husband's arms.
4. Be good to him, but don't be his doormat
It is essential to be down to earth but not to an extent of becoming a doormat to your husband in order to woo him back. To be nice to him is fine but it should be based on who was at fault that triggered that separation. Naturally, the one at fault will be more remorseful to eliminate that sense of guilty so to earn some trust and affection from the other partner.
Being too submissive at this moment of reconciliation could raise eyebrows and sometimes it can be deemed as a sign of insincerity. Additionally, your husband will start taking advantage of you and later not see any value in your effort to bring you together. Tread carefully here to retain your worth and your value to him.
Men are hunters by nature, and by virtue of that fact, give him a little challenge to make him sweat. Play the usual girlish games of being hard to get to make him feel like the hunter and not the hunted. Give him reasons to see you as a better choice in a bid to win him back. Soon or later, he will be back with you.
5. Try not to smother him
Men hate being smothered or nagged all the tight. Play your cards wisely by having a completely new approach that will not remind him of your dreaded past while still together. Constant nagging is a put off for most men and you could be doing an exercise in futility if you employ such tactics.
The best way to do this is by giving your husband some space to think over and over again as he weighs his options. Grant him his space to meditate over if he actually was the cause for your separation and within no time, he is coming for you.
6. Don't show him your desperation
It is true that right in your heart, you are desperate to get your man back. Men can sense that but give your husband a reason to believe that you are not that desperate. Let him not figure out your weakness on this issues or else he will fully capitalize on it make things worse for you. Better still, don't beg him, but reason out with him on how you can make your relationship work.
Looking desperate will not make him sympathetic towards you but he will take you for granted. Definitely, you don't want to be taken for a ride by the person who you feel is special in your life. In short, don't cry over him, beg, cause drama, show up at his house and at the workplace, or keep on calling him frequently.
Instead, stay strong and steady fast while working out your differences. Men love challenges and he will feel challenged somehow to the point of not losing you.
7. Change your old habits
Likely, there are habits that made your husband pack and leave. Why don't you work on changing those bad habits? Knowing your weakness and your wickedness is a good step to discovering yourself. As such, assure your partner of a new start by discarding those habits that keep you apart.
It takes a short time to adopt new ideas and new habits which can help you so much in upholding your marriage. At the same time, help your partner change from his old habits that probably could be the main concern for your separation.
Let him know what you like and what you despise to help him change. After all, a change is better than a rest.
8. Work on your problems
After making up your mind to change your habits for the better, it is time you sat down to resolve your issues. This will help you in not doing the same mistakes over and over. Be accountable for your shortcomings, point them out and have a discussion to find an everlasting solution together.
9. Seek professional guidance
With counseling, both of you will realize where you went wrong because you are dealing with a third person who is entirely neutral in your issues. That being said, you can try out professional help to bring your husband back to you if other means are not working to your advantage.
Related: Does Marriage Counseling Work?
10. Don't allow your emotions to control you
Emotions are part of human beings and they determine a lot when it comes to marriage. For that reason, take full control of your emotions in extreme cases to safeguard your interests.
Emotions lead to irrational decisions that could cause a breakup or keep away your husband from you. By controlling them, you will be giving your estranged husband a reason to spend the rest of his life with you.
How To Get Your Husband Back: Conclusion
It takes two to tango, so is husband and wife. For a marriage to stand the test of time, you should work towards a common goal of strengthening that bond. The usual line, "For better for worse" is always overrated and tackled partially, ignoring the most crucial elements of making marriages work. Although marriages seem not to last lately, there is still hope in making them work. If we accept our shortcomings and accommodate our partners as they are, we will be working towards everlasting happy and fulfilling marriages. Therefore, you can take a few hints from the discussion to win back your lost husband and live happily ever after.
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Welcome to my marriage and relationship advice blog! If you’re having intimacy issues in your marriage or relationship you’ve come to the right place. In this blog I share the best of the best on how to fix a sexless marriage and to deal with other intimacy-related problems.