Different Love Languages in a Relationship: What To Do When Words Are Not Enough

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People speak the same language they have always used when they enter a relationship.

However, you need more than spoken words to understand each other.  

There are different love languages in a relationship that can help you say things spoken language alone could not.  

How do you know which one your partner is using?

On the flip side, which language should you use to connect with your partner at a deeper level?

Failure to recognize the efforts of either side could lead to tension.

Different Love Languages in a Relationship

To ensure that you both feel loved and appreciated in your relationship, take note of the five love languages people use.

1. Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are verbal compliments that can make your partner feel appreciated.

These can be simple expressions of love that provide praise or encouragement.

“I’ve always liked your hair, but it looks even better today.”

“You will do great in your presentation tomorrow.”

“That jacket looks great on you!”

Things like these seem small, but they can make a world of difference, especially if your partner is having a hard day.

If you follow this up with a heartfelt “I love you.”, it will go a long way in strengthening your relationship.

Words of affirmation are very effective because they are very straightforward. 

What is more, they are easy to express since you already feel that way in the first place.

On the other hand, harsh comments, especially from you, can chip away at your partner’s confidence.

In many cases, they can put a dent in your relationship.

It is important to learn this language for many reasons.

For one, it will help you show your appreciation for your partner.

At the end of the day, this is all that everyone really wants.

Secondly, knowing the language will make it easier for you to realize if your partner is using it.

It will allow you to keep an open line of communication that is supportive and nurturing.

2. Physical Touch

This love language involves expressing your love through physical affection.

To some people, the term can take on a sexual undertone.

That said, while sexual intimacy is included, the physical touch love language means so much more.

It involves holding your partner’s hand, brushing the hair back, or giving a back massage.

Cuddling on the couch on a Sunday evening while watching a romantic movie is another great example.

In other words, physical touch simply means being physically close to your partner in any way.

To people who speak this language, a simple touch on the arm can speak more eloquently than words.

Inversely, lack of physical contact, be it hugging or kissing, can make them feel unloved.

It is important to be aware if your partner is speaking this language or not. 

Understanding the situation you are in can help you respond appropriately, allowing you to meet your partner’s needs.

It will help enhance your relationship and make your bond stronger. 

If you are the one craving physical connection, knowing what you want can help you set the expectations for your relationship.

The key is to find ways to communicate if there is a mismatch in the love language that you speak.

3. Acts of Service

The next love language involves showing your love for your partner through action.

If your partner speaks this language, he or she feels appreciated when you go out of your way to do things for them.

It doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture like sending a skywriting message or laying rose petals on the bed.

In many cases, helping with the dishes or taking out the trash will do the trick.

Little things like these are just as effective in saying that you are there for your partner.

The adage “action speaks louder than words” is true for most people.

That said, people who speak the acts of service language take it more seriously than others.

To them, each action requires thought, time, and effort, which what they appreciate the most.

It is important to note that these acts are done with your partner’s happiness in mind and not out of obligation.

Doing something as if it is a task defeats the purpose of expressing your love.

It might even end up having the opposite effect and hurt your partner, especially if he or she speaks this language.

different love languages in a relationship

4. Quality Time

Quality time is all about giving your partner your undivided attention.

It is meant to make the most of your time together by focusing on each other instead of other things. 

However, with today’s technological advancements, from social media to streaming services, this can be more challenging than it sounds.

Still, it is doable, especially if you are committed to your relationship.

So the next time you are with your partner, put away your smartphone, tablet, laptop, or whatever device you are using.

Turn off the television unless it is something that you both enjoy and can bond over.

Listen actively and make your partner the center of your attention and not just an afterthought.

You do not have to spend every waking hour together, as this is impossible to do anyway.

Still, you do have to make every minute count.

Also, try to avoid canceling a date as much as possible or being late.

It would be very hurtful to someone who speaks this language if you do not make it on time or at all. 

5. Giving Gifts

The last love language involves giving gifts or tokens of love to your partner. 

It involves material things, but it is far from being materialistic.

To someone who speaks this language, it is the thought or sentiment behind the act that counts.

This is understandable, as a lot of thought goes into buying a gift.

It is especially true if the gift is for someone you care deeply for.

It does not have to be something expensive or elaborate like jewelry.

The simple act of buying a bottle of your partner’s favorite wine on your way home can mean a lot.

It is a great way to show how much you care and how much you know about him or her.

At the same time, you have a nice way to bookend a very long day or week with your partner.

Embracing the Different Love Languages in a Relationship

It takes a lot of work for relationships to succeed.

These five different love languages in a relationship should give you an idea of how much effort you need to give.  

Still, if it brings you closer to the one you love, it is all worth it.

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