Why  A Sexless Marriage Will Never Work (And What You Can Do To Fix It)

What is intimacy?

While most people’s definition of intimacy revolves around the act of pleasuring one another in a physical capacity, contrasting opinions paint intimacy as an emotional bond which sometimes can be manifested physically through sexual intercourse.


Sexless marriage: 4 Red Flags

Many understand the imperative role intimacy serves in a marriage but few are usually aware when the quality of their love lives begins to wane. So what are the warning signs that can be observed in a union that’s losing its passion?

  • Communication becomes utilitarian: Communication between spouses is reduced to nothing more than a medium for relaying information. There is no warmth or affection in the way the couple interacts with each other.
  • Either one or both spouses divert their attentions elsewhere: The new recipient of their attention could be the root of the intimacy problems, such as a new lover, or it could be viewed as a substitute outlet for their affection.
  • Sharing a bed with your spouse loses its special meaning: Instead of providing a platform for expressing love for each other, physically or emotionally, it starts to feel just like an ordinary and necessary part of the spouses daily life.
  • Either one or both spouses is of the opinion that sex no longer has a role to play in the union: It could be because they believe they’ve had enough children or simply for whatever reason no longer feel "obliged" to put in the effort.

How does a marriage turn sexless?

Usually, two are the main types of causes for reducing sexual intimacy in marriage: physical and psychological.

Physical causes

Physical problems are usually associated with age, illness or lack of sex drive, and may include male impotence or a variety of female health and hormonal problems that affect reproductive systems. These physical problems can cause pain or anxiety, as a partner will reject their lover to avoid the pressure of having to solve the issues.

Physiological causes

Psychological problems are a much more difficult thing to deal with as they can be many and varied, but usually stem from dissatisfaction from within the marriage, within the partners themselves or from external sources. Psychological causes include:

  • Resentment over past arguments, actions, or any deeply buried unresolved issues
  • Depression
  • Sexual abuse (recent or past)
  • Severe body image issues with themselves
  • Body image issues with their partner
  • Sheer exhaustion (mentally and physically)
  • General dissatisfaction with sex (deriving from physical or psychological sources)

There might be many more reasons why a marriage can go from being "hot and steamy" to "icy cold" in the bedroom department. Ultimately, only you and your partner know the real reason why this has happened and whether you really want to change things.

Can a sexless marriage SURVIVE?

The emotional satisfaction deriving from intimate acts such as intercourse and other sexual activities is crucial for the emotional well-being in a marriage.

Regardless of the root cause, a lack of intimacy can be subconsciously interpreted as neglect, which eventually escalates to self-blame for the partner’s lack of affection. The result is often a feeling of low self-esteem, bitterness, and guilt, which sometimes can even trigger a state of depression.

Ultimately, a sexless marriage crumbles. As much as some spouses strongly believe that they can still be together even if intimacy of any kind is off the table, the cracks begin to show sooner or later.

signs your husband doesnt love you.

Nipping intimacy issues in the bud...

Intimacy in marriage, just like any other facet of the union, requires time and devotion to blossom into the type of undying affection seen in couples whose unions last for decades. Physical contact—and not just sex—should be taken very seriously.

sexless marriage

"Small acts such as holding hands while walking, verbally expressing affection towards each other and generally being amicable towards each other goes a long way in keeping the passion alive."

 Ivan Verr, relationship coach

FREE Quiz: Is your marriage turning sexless?

Sexless relationship. Sexless marriage depression. Should I stay in a sexless marriage.

Did you take the quiz and found out your marriage is turning sexless?

Fortunately, even a marriage whose embers are dying can be sparked anew provided both partners put in the effort. Here are some tips on how to get a sexless marriage back on track:

  • Openly communicate with each other, especially on matters of intimacy
  • Do not allocate blame to each other and do not indulge in self-blame
  • Plan more activities together and take time off to be with each other
  • Give each other more space and time to be alone as well
  • Stay attractive for each other - Keep fit, eat healthy, and keep your appearances noteworthy

Check out RelationshipScope.com for more advice on how to restore the intimacy and the passion in your marriage:

For Him

Discover how to unlock your wife's libido and make her want you more sexually.

For Her

Learn the most powerful ways to restore the intimacy with your husband.

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