What Your Wife Really Wants: The Secrets No One Ever Tells You
Marriage is serious business. After all, for most people the person we marry is someone with whom we share our home, money, and love – and even our kids! And marriage is forever – or at least that is how most people intend it to be when they get married.
Most married men spend a significant amount of their personal time near their wives, but few of them really understand their needs and psychology. “I don’t know what she really wants” – I’ve heard many men saying, after an heated argument with their wives, or simply because their marriage is stuck in rut. This is why I have collected some of my favorite bits of advice for men that have been wondering what women really want, to make this serious marriage business a little easier, and perhaps a little funnier too.
1. Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t marry (and vice versa)
This one is more of a comment on how to conduct oneself before marriage. For most men, dating is as much a way to have fun as it is to find a life mate. After all, dating often includes going out on the town, having some good food, maybe a bit of dancing – doing things that are outside of the ordinary, hum-drum of pattern daily life. But, this piece of advice implies something important about dating: it can lead to something much more serious. If you go out on a date after date with someone about whom you are not necessarily crazy (but are just doing it to have a bit of fun), the strategy could backfire on you. Things might get serious before realize it, and you could end up compromising and marry the wrong person.
2. Don’t fight about money – there is never enough to go around anyway
As most married couples will tell you, money is one of the biggest sources of conflict within a marriage. Money – and how we handle it – is so personal and no two people view it in the exact same way. Combine that with the fact that most married couples share their money; that is, they add to and take from the same “pot” on a regular, ongoing basis. And, for most people, there just never seems to be enough money to do all of the things we want to do. The solution? Realize that there will probably always be a bone to pick with you regarding how each of you handles money – but that is no reason to fight. Just agree to disagree on the small stuff and move on.
3. Do not expect your wife not to change after marriage
When you married that perfect little bride of yours, you formed a mental picture in your mind of what she was (or what you imagine her to be). As time passes, you may have noticed that the gap between the person your wife is today and that mental image of how she “used to” be is getting blurry. The fact is, most men start reminiscing about the way things were (or they way they thought things were) with their wives before they got married, lamenting the ways she has changed since then. Here is a little piece of advice: embrace the changes she has gone through and enjoy the ride!
4. Never have breakfast together if you’re not morning people
This one hits home with me. Neither my wife or I am morning people. When we get up each morning, we need to give each other as wide a berth as possible, lest we risk getting our heads removed by the grumpy monster in the room. That means staying out of each other’s way for at least the first half hour in the morning. And, of course, having breakfast together immediately after getting up in the morning is completely out of the question!
5. Listen for clues about what your wife needs
Most women are very indirect when it comes to saying what they want or need (in case you haven’t noticed…). They do want their husbands to read their minds and guess what they want. Since men are not mind-readers, though, what you can do instead is to read between the lines. For example, if your wife keeps talking about a certain item in the department store, take it as a hint that she wants one of those things!
6. Learn to communicate with your wife
The connection you have with your wife is a vital tool when it comes to handling issues.
In case your wife’s moodiness is annoying you, talk to her about it. She might or might not know about it. If she admits she behaves irrationally sometimes, she may be sorry in the beginning and, later on, might feel comfortable informing you more about it.
Her moodiness might sometimes be a manifestation of having no one to talk to. If she finds you a great listener to whom she may express her feelings, her mood changes may happen less often. You will be able to know her better, and she may be able to control herself better.
7. Give her quality time
Ladies want to feel special and cared for. Giving her quality moment might just be the solution you are looking for to alleviate her stress both at home and work. Taking time off for dinner, a day at the beach, or a movie night with her could make her feel better and more loved, thus reducing her mood swings.
8. Give her a rest from her normal routine
A woman who is worn-out by her normal routine of going from tasks at the office to chores at home and more can have plenty of mood shifts. Know her desires and give her time away from her normal routine. Encourage her to be with her girlfriends now and then so she could unwind. Assure her that you can complete the chores for her at home and take care of the children so she can unwind. It would not be too much to do for a lady which you treasure and for an individual who truly needs a break.
9. Stand by her
Even when your wife needs some space, she also desires assurance you will be with her during her most prickly situations. Don’t aggravate the situation by retorting; instead, just allow her to speak and get her feelings out. Your presence and the idea that you are listening to her could make her feel much better. You need not even say a statement, but if she is feeling better, then you could talk to her regarding the situation.
And last but not least:Never laugh at your wife's choices: you're one of themClick To Tweet
Making a marriage successful requires a lot of hard work and patience. At the same time, keeping a good sense of humor about your marriage can be very good medicine.