Funny Marriage Advice That Works: Keep Calm and Marry On

Depending on who you ask, marriage only works one way, ‘the wife’s way’. That is why you will see old men in movies giving funny marriage advice to young, newly married men telling them never to argue with the wife. As long as she is right, everything will be alright!

angry screaming woman showing fist and looking down at small kissing man. concept photo in foggy park

But then you get married and five years down the line you realize that you cannot take a backseat in your own life. As much as you know you shouldn’t, you end up arguing with the wife and as predicted, you end up in the dog house every time. Funny marriage advice exists for a reason. Those who went before us have tried it all and have found that only a handful of things work. Today, we will look at some useful tips to get through your marriage, including some funny marriage advice that actually holds water.

Top 5 Tips To Make Your Marriage Work Out Smoothly

1. Never go to bed angry
This old saying was meant to ensure that partners resolved all pending issues before they slept on them and woke up even more resolved to be pigheaded. But as much as you would love to resolve everything before you go to bed, if you have been arguing into the night and it is already 2 am, there is a good chance your fight will not be resolved at 3 am. Either one of you has to be the bigger man/woman and call a truce or you both will get late for work in the morning.

2. Separate your work and personal life
You hear people say it all the time, leave your work issues at the door. Your work life should be left at the office, unless of course you work from home, then you are done for. The point here is that you should always find a way to separate issues and give your family quality time. Keep your work life at work and you home life at home. That secret apartment or the cabin in the woods is just for you and the voices in your head. Leave that out of all this madness.

3. Know that marriage is a three ring circus. Be prepared.
The circus includes:

• The engagement ring
• The wedding band/ring
• Eternal suffering

Honestly, though, marriage isn’t that bad. Although it can be very trying some times. What you need to remember is that you are two completely different and separate entities trying to merge. There is going to be friction. Be prepared to suffer through it and deal with it. Remember, you love each other, even though most days you won’t understand why.

4. Matrimonial bonds are like every other bond, they mature very slowly.
This is for those of us who have a little bit of finance in us. As wild and as scotching as your love for each other may be when you decide to get married after just meeting three minutes ago, you need to know that the bonds that will keep your marriage together will take time to mature. Give it time. Keep trying and for the love of all that is good, let no man put asunder.

5. In your time together, you will fall in and out of love with each other many times. Your marriage will keep you together until you fall in again.
This is the same old advice everyone gets before they tie the knot. It is not easy being married. Sometimes you will want nothing more than to see the other person forever lost in the Amazon Forest. But since ‘disappearing’ people is illegal in most countries, you need to trust that your vows will keep you together until you fall back in love again with your partner.

Funny marriage advice to memorize

funny marriage advice2• Spend some time each day honestly listening to your significant other. No matter how insignificant their problems are to you.

• Rename your bikini area as your husbands ‘work area’ and be sure he gets to work regularly.

• A marriage is a kind of relationship where one person is always right. The other one is the husband.

• A marriage is really more of a graduation ceremony. The husband loses his bachelor’s degree while the wife gains her master’s degree.

• Marry a woman who can cook, clean, make love insatiably and let you drink as much as you want. Make sure these women never meet.

• A good marriage is about compromise; the husband admits he is wrong and the wife concurs.

You might as well face it; the only way you are going to get through this marriage thing and come out the other end alive is if you see the funny side of things.

Make sure you check out our collection of husband and wife jokes. Keep calm and marry on!

 

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