Communication in Marriage: Grow Closer Together Not Further Apart
A marriage is a union of two people with the intent of sharing the rest of their lives together. This relationship should be filled with the intimacy, companionship, commitment, trust and of course love. Communication in marriage is a must-have to avoid conflicts. Unfortunately, many marriages fail and the lack of good communication skills is often the cause.
A strong and secure marriage does not develop on its own; it takes a lot of hard work and dedication by both parties to keep it healthy and alive. Being married involves sharing ideas, thoughts, and feelings on a daily basis with your partner, something that isn’t easy for someone who has lived alone for some time. The need to communicate effectively with each other is vital to the existence of a successful marriage.
In this article, you will learn about the importance of effective communication in marriage and how to do it effectively.
Importance of Communication in Marriage
There are several benefits of effective communication in marriage.
1. Communication creates a stronger bond. One importance of communication in your marriage is that it strengthens the bond between couples. Communication brings couples closer to each other. Communication is a good medium for couples to share their experiences and thoughts to each other. Sharing each other’s stories and experiences will help couples form a special bond or connection with each other. On the other hand, the lack of communication could push couples to develop separate lives which is of course not healthy in a relationship. Couples may start to grow apart if they have poor communication in their marriage.
2. Communication prevents misunderstandings, confusions and wrong assumptions. When couples are not talking to each other regularly, they may end up speculating what their spouse is thinking and this can lead to wrong assumptions and misunderstandings. Couples who are married for many years often assume that their spouses just know what’s in their minds because they’ve been together for many years which is very wrong. Assuming that your partner can read your mind creates confusions. It is important to articulate your thoughts to minimize misunderstandings. If couples can only learn the art of effective communication, misunderstandings can be prevented.
3. Communication keeps couples emotionally connected. Another importance of communication in marriage is to preserve the emotional connections of couples. When couples talk and share to each other what they’ve been thinking and doing every single day, it keeps them connected with each other emotionally. It can be dangerous for the relationship if spouses do not share their everyday lives with each other because they may look elsewhere to satisfy their needs to be emotionally connected with someone and this may lead to infidelity. Keeping the communication lines open and learning to effectively communicate with your spouse can save you and your partner from looking for emotional connections with someone else.
4. Communication helps couples to resolve marital conflicts. Nothing can be solved if couples do not talk to each other. Another importance of communication in marriage is that it helps couples resolve the issues in their relationship. Couples who want to keep their marriage are willing to sit down and talk about the problems in their marriage. Good communication is necessary to make up and resolve marital issues.
How to Communicate Effectively
1. Let Your Feelings Out
If you really want to begin learning effective communication with your spouse, you will want to get the negative feelings out. If you harbour negative feelings and thoughts about your spouse without letting them out, not only will these feelings consistently tug on your heart and thoughts, you stand the chance of letting them come out at the worst times.
If you let your feelings out in a controlled environment, such as a simple planned discussion with your spouse, this will be much better situation than letting it out without thinking before you speak.
2. Be Careful of Negativity
Unloading all of your negativity onto your partner at once is one of the worst things you can do. This is certainly not an effective communication method. Though as mentioned above, you should make sure you are letting negative feelings out, you don’t want to let them out at one time without mixing positives in there as well.
If your spouse feels like they are getting flooded with negative feelings, you can place a sure bet that they are going to lash out with defensive behaviours, which again, is very ineffective when it comes to proper communication in your marriage. Don’t be afraid to let negative feelings out when you are communicating with your partner, but don’t give them all negative feelings. Point out some of the things you love about them as well and make sure you are thinking before you speak.
3. Listening Instead of Hearing
Communication in marriage is not a one way street and you should not expect to be the only person talking during a planned discussion. You need to listen just as much as you are speaking. Effective listening is just as important as speaking.
The difference between listening and hearing is actual understanding. You may hear the words your spouse is telling you, but without listening, you cannot understand what they are saying. You should allow your partner to tell you what they have on their mind without you jumping to a conclusion or interrupting them with your own thoughts or feelings. It is important to acknowledge your partner’s feelings with positivity.
4. Let Time Pass
It is true that time can heal wounds and you should also allow time to pass before making any rash decisions or giving your partner a rebuttal during a long discussion. Let the information and opinions sink in and always think before you speak.
When you are ready to speak, make sure your tone is calm and even. Shouting should have no place in these discussions.
5. Resolve Problems Before Stopping the Talk
When you have planned to have a discussion with your spouse, it is important to resolve every problem that you can reasonably resolve before closing the doors of communication. Though you cannot possibly solve everything in one discussion, you can certainly feel better about your spouse after communicating and this is where you should be before you decide to end the talking for the time.
Discussing a plan of resolution with your spouse can help you work on any problems in your marriage together. When you work together, you work as one, which is just what a marriage should be.