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Common Marriage Problems After A Baby And How To Solve Them

Common marriage problems after baby

common marriage problemsThe period of pregnancy and that after childbirth and during childhood affect a marriage heavily in one way or another. Pregnancy and childbirth can bring a couple closer together by creating a stronger emotional bond between the two partners. A family nucleus is being created and built by a man and a woman. If this was a conscious decision, made out of love, it is probably the most emotionally-intense and rewarding period that a couple will experience in a lifetime. In some cases, however, issues may arise during this period that might cause conflicts and even drive the couple towards separation. It’s important for a couple to work together to overcome the challenges of pregnancy and child-rearing, while keeping the marriage healthy and strong. In this article, I would like to go through the most common marriage problems during pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing and how to solve them to save your marriage from crumbling.

Pregnancy

Children are a source of joy and should be considered a gift from God, and welcomed as such. However, an unplanned baby might be a source of apprehension, as the case may be. Also, if the couple has been married only for a few months and suddenly there is good news of a positive pregnancy, the partners may be taken aback because they might not have been prepared properly for it. Regardless of whether the baby was planned or not, when a woman becomes pregnant, her whole life changes both physically and mentally. Some women have consecutive vomiting bouts and others may have various other anxiety problems. All this occurs mainly due to hormonal changes in the body. These changes could cause sudden tensions between partners, as the woman may be subject to mood swings and elevated stress. It will take a lot of support from the partner to ease her anxiety. Men need more guidance to handle such sudden turn of events.

Childbirth

The period right after childbirth is perhaps the most challenging for the couple. After the child is born, timings have to be rescheduled to adjust according to the baby’s sleep, feeding time, nappy change, etc.; proper sleep and rest will not be available for a long time. The mother will be worn out and tired, and she will not be able to give full attention to her spouse. This negligence could sometimes irritate some partners. Tempers may fly, and the father may have to sacrifice his leisure time to look after the mother and the baby. Some mothers may exhibit PPD symptoms, which include feeling of hopelessness, lack of focus, and anger. Once again, it takes a lot of patience and maturity on the men’s side in order to keep the relationship healthy and to address any mood disorder promptly and with care to avoid clashes. Timely help from close family members can often save the situation and can be a boon for the new parents.

Childhood

If you think that the worst is over after the first few months, think again. Another critical phase that can trigger marital issues occurs as the child grows up. Parents must agree on a common parental strategy to avoid arguments that can impact the couple’s relationship as well as the children’s psychological well-being. For example, when a child makes mischief, both parents must handle the situation carefully and without interfering with each other. There should not be a situation where one parent chides and the other supports the child. This might cause the kid to lose respect towards the parents. Tensions and ego clashes will thus occur between the partners. The couple will slowly drift mentally apart, and love and affection may be lost. To avoid such a situation, the couple must firmly resolve to handle difficult children jointly.

Marriage will become successful only if both partners work together and try to solve everyday problems with maturity, dedication, and love.

They should not make a mountain out of a molehill or go to court for silly reasons. If they act responsibly, the two partners will go through such child rearing phases smoothly and can be an inspiration to others.

Save your marriage: the 3 things that you need to KEEP

common mariage problems 2Looking for ways to strengthen your marriage? Then you might have probably sought marriage advice from someone that you trust. The question is, did the advice work? Different married couples face different kinds of marital problems, but there are essentially three things that help strengthen marriage. It will be easy to memorize them because they are all things that you need to keep.

1. KEEP calm  One of the things that reinforce marital ties is keeping a lid on your anger. A marriage can break down if there’s too much stress and strain between the couple. To keep matters from getting worse, better get hold of your emotions and lessen your anger. It also helps to learn to say that you are sorry. Pointing fingers at each other will not help. If you believe you have exhibited some form of destructive behavior, then you better apologize. It can be difficult to change for the better almost instantly but with your partner’s help, you surely can.

2. KEEP your promises – You will also need to keep your promises. Once you have made a promise, stick to your word. If you tend not to keep your side of the bargain, you will often find yourselves fighting over little things that were left undone. Even the smallest of arguments can be annoying especially when they happen rather frequently.

3. KEEP the relationship interesting – This advice never fails to work. Do not allow yourselves to slowly slip away from each other. Always try to spend more time with your partner than with your friends. You may need to attend to some personal needs for leisure now and then but that does not mean you will always be out with your friends. Spending more time with your partner and coming up with surprises can help much in keeping the passion alive.

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Ivan Verr is a self-development & relationship coach, with a passion for helping singles and couples building a beautiful relationship.

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